Just in case

quarter-life crisis

2012-01-09T08:05:00.000-08:00

i have been writing a lot lately,
having my so-called quarter-life crisis.

i have not been sleeping well,
having difficulty in initiating sleep, as well as early awakenings.
my postural hypotension is getting worse,
having more and more mini blackouts for the past 1 week.

i'm full of moodiness, emo-ness,
sense of insecurities and lost,
self-doubts and frustrations,
and the worst is,
i don't even have the slightest idea about what i really want.

sometimes,
i do wish that i can be strong and independent,
surviving in a total new environment without depending on the others.
i wish that i can grow up,
and stop being such a blur and hopeless person.
why can't i??

(ps: comparing to my previous post, i guess i fit bipolar perfectly.)

决定

2012-01-08T08:02:00.000-08:00

每个人的一生中，总有个几个决定，会影响他的一生。
平日的日子，还可以懵懵懂懂的混过，
但，来到了这么一个交叉点的时候，
总得想想，什么才是最重要的。

总有太多的因素要思考，
太多的选择要取舍，
太多的放不下得放下。

人生，是个未知数，
谁也不能担保，今天做的决定，
一定是最对的，最好的。
但，只要尽力的做好自己，
我相信，上天冥冥中一定会有他的安排。

振作

2012-01-05T05:07:00.000-08:00

女人，请振作!!!

你没时间伤心了。

(quarter-life crisis-ing~ T.T)
要越战越强~
越战越强~

2012, a new game begins.

2012-01-02T06:54:00.000-08:00

happy 2012 everyone~!!^^

should be writing this post much earlier,

but having too much of 欢乐 for the past few days~

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~

2012, new year, new game.

needless to say,

lame people like me will always write a long list of new year resolutions.

so, hang with me yea~ haha

1. Be the CHANGE you want to see in this world. Kindness spreads.

2. Friends accept you for who you are.

朋友是把看透你了，还是死赖着和你一起的人

I'm looking for friends, and hoping to become one too.

3. If you don't like about something, CHANGE it.

Don't afraid of changes, if you never try, you'll never know.

and stop whining, like it's gonna change ANYTHING~ dah~~

4. 我要闪婚~!! *瞎*

5. Picture yourself TEN years later.

想象十年后的你，身在那里，在做些什么，成为什么样的人。

6. You only have ONE life, LIVE it, with no regrets.

7. 继续欢乐~ 无所不乐~ 生命太严肃了，切莫当真。

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~

8. Life's best when it's SIMPLE.

Stop complicate things by over-analysing every word and action.

9. give HUGsSsSss~ appropriately. haha

10. Sing~!! lotsa lotsa K~!!!

11. 缘聚缘散。

缘聚时，把握珍惜；缘散时，感恩放下，

再继续往前走，明天一定会更好。

12. 把自己看得太重，只会越沉越重~

13. Have courage, to have adventures in life.

14. In 20 years, you will be more regret on things that you never do,
rather than things that you actually did.

15. “如果明天的太陽依然升起，我們開始第二個人生吧” ~阿信

16. Life's a cumulations of mistakes and decisions. so?

make the BEST out of it.

17. *pray hard~* i'm gonna be strong enough to win the final battle!!　
　　每个人推到上帝面前的筹码都不一样，那就是努力。

18. LOVE your parents, just like how they love you, UNCONDITIONALLY~

Coolio~

HAPPY 2012~!!!

Have lotsa fun~!!!

i'm not going to write a review on 2011 this year,
not in the mood plus most were being written down in the previous posts,
adios 2011~!!^^

Second Round，第二人生

2011-12-24T23:24:00.000-08:00

“如果明天的太陽依然升起，我們開始第二個人生吧..” ~阿信

五月天 - 第二人生

你听到闹钟声你推开了抱枕
你醒在无尽的疲倦的人生
英雄没有出现奇迹没有发生
你只有苦涩的即溶咖啡粉

你天天看新闻在等什么发生
让人生再重头再起死回生
地心没有沸腾陨石没有倾盆
只有你和日子长满了灰尘

期待一趟旅程精彩万分你却还在等
等到荒废青春用尽体温才开始悔恨

期待一种永恒却怕伤痕怕碎骨粉身
最后还是一个人没有神你孤独的生存

你才刚出了门你就开始在等
你等着快回家回你的围城
命运如果有门名字就叫心门
并不是能不能而是肯不肯

生命不是过程而是美丽旅程
风景有亮和暗也有爱和恨
第一站叫天真第二站叫青春
下一站的名字等你去确认

期待一趟旅程精彩万分你却还在等
等到荒废青春用尽体温才开始悔恨
期待一种永恒即使伤痕也奋不顾身
也许会有一个人陪着你向新人生启程
每个灵魂每个人每次劫后余生
每个心跳每滴泪在等绝处逢生
不要等到来生让此时此刻能不虚此生

如果命运注定你的诞生
如果末日始终没有发生
期待一趟旅程精彩万分你不该在等
等到荒废青春用尽体温才开始悔恨
期待一种永恒即使伤痕也奋不顾身
生命还没有黄昏下一站你的第二人生
你的第二人生

Christmas's eve~

2011-12-24T10:54:00.000-08:00

just had a simple dinner for Christmas's eve,
home-made steamboat,
tang-yuan,
with a couple of beers.

gossips, laughters and stupid games,
simple, peaceful and warm
with best friends around,
just like what i always wanted.
and the best that i can get.

yet another year goes by, in a blink of eye.
let by gone, be by gone.
i wonder where will we be,
who will we be with,
and what will we be doing,
next year, at this time of the year.
but i guess that's the best part of life,
that you will never know what's coming and what's not,
so just cherish the moments you have now,
in the best way that you can.

Merry Christmas everyone~

圣诞节前前夕

2011-12-23T11:35:00.000-08:00

今天是星期五晚上，

圣诞节前前夕，

一般来说，

我应该会在某处狂欢。

刚喝完冬至汤圆，

岁月很豪迈的不留人，

迈入了优雅兼可怕的二十六。

我没带上手套，拿着刷子，

很卖力的在刷马桶，洗厕所。

很不错，

没有想象中的可悲。

背后，还有很激昂的古典乐。

看着黄黄的厕所墙，

被喷出来的水花，

冲得亮闪晶晶，

一整个星期的忧郁，

也被刷得不见光光。

好，一个奇怪的新爱好，

就从圣诞节的开始。

人们，圣诞节快乐~!!

missing~*

2011-12-09T08:02:00.001-08:00

yay~ 我又回来了！
三个礼拜了，
没有网路的日子，我过得还挺成功的嘛~*哈*
不过，还是有点不习惯没有血拼的日子，
要是真的错过今年的year end sale，
我一定不能原谅自己的~*瞎*

不过还蛮喜欢那个有山有水，
还有浓浓的人情味的地方。
虽然并没有拍下很多照片做纪念，
但，我想我一定不会忘记那里的天气，
蓝天，白云，艳阳高照，
乌云，密布，倾盆大雨。
河流，白鹤，小镇，美食，
肉骨茶，海鲜，魔鬼鱼，unagi,
吃再多‘肉’也不会造孽的斋馆，
奇怪得来又好好吃的猪肠粉，
狂笑变态无厘头又难吃的mamak，
百吃不厌只为了上网的麦当劳，
无人能敌的疯狂唱K纪录, *fyi: 5 times in 2 weeks, spontaneously everytime~
尴尬又好笑的金马伦之旅，
有鱼但都钓不到的钓鱼记，
热到发狂飚汗的医院，
冷到发麻冷颤的图书馆，
循循善诱的老师，
神神化化的医生，
搞笑又好玩的同伴，
可爱配合度又高的病人，
全部全部，一切一切，
都为我那原始又平凡的日子涂上五彩缤纷的精彩。

my new pets~*

a serene evening

2011-11-24T23:28:00.001-08:00

surfing the net lazily,
with my chilling frost root beer,
in a cool and serene evening.

enjoying a simple and happy life,
in a small peaceful town,
hoping life can be that easy,
all the time.

人来人往

2011-11-19T02:46:00.001-08:00

很难想象，大学一朦就快五年。

回头看，

电脑里的像簿，聊天记录，

手机里的短讯，

看着看着，就笑了，

笑着笑着，就哭了，

朋友知己，一个个，

从陌生走进我的人生，

再从我的人生，走回人群陌生。

a list

2011-11-07T06:29:00.000-08:00

我爱：
1。跑步
2。旅行
3。阅读
4。音乐
5。吉他
6。部落格
7。摄影
8。游泳
9。电影
10。跳舞
11。胡闹

rainy night

2011-11-03T07:51:00.000-07:00

there are times,

i wish there's someone who can hug me and say:

'hey, it's alright, everything's gonna be alright'

when i start laughing insanely at everything.

i lov quotes~*

2011-10-22T20:16:00.000-07:00

【身边朋友对你的印象】

2011-10-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

my favourite pastime=> 心理测验~!!
1. 你有吃早餐的习惯？
有~~2
没有~~3

2. 你养过宠物？
有~~7
没有~~3

3. 你有工作经验？
有~~7
没有~~4

4. 你有好的运动细胞？
有~~8
没有~~5

5. 你现在正在减肥？
是~~9
不是~~6

6. 你认为看电影一定要吃零食？
是~~9
不是~~10

7. 你觉得地球上出现过外星人？
有~~8
没有~~11

8. 你曾有过很多恋情？
是~~12
不是~~9

9. 你很少看漫画书？
是~~13
不是~~10

10. 你到KTV就会唱个不停？
是~~13
不是~~14

11. 你喜欢吃三明治？
喜欢~~14
不喜欢~~12

12. 你会自创不同的菜式？
会~~15
不会~~13

13. 你很会画插画？
是~~A型
不是~~B型

14. 你喜欢格子图案？
喜欢~~C型
不喜欢~~D型

15. 你很想出国上学？
是~~E型
不是F型

16. 你曾参加过某明星的后援会？
有~~G型
没有~~H型

A型人~~
不管是熟人还是陌生人，你都会主动与对方交谈，你给人的感觉很活泼也很大方且并不唐突，所以你并不惹人讨厌，你给人的第一个印象不错，你的思维过于活跃，所以身边总是很多朋友，但知心的并没有几个，你太贪玩，表面看似和谁都能相约吃饭，逛街，做一些亲密的事，这样会让你真正的好朋友怀疑到底与你之间的友谊是哪种，对方可能不能确定与你要好的程度，而如果对方又是不喜欢表达的人，这种情绪会越积越多，到最后不可负荷时，爆发出来，可能受伤的反而是你。所以注意一下自己的表现，你应该对不管是友情还是其他感情，都有鲜明的态度，这样才不会有不必要的误会和遗憾。

B型人~~
有你在的地方一定有欢笑，你善良，调皮，任性，霸道与贴心。你看起来活泼好动，但实际内心深处，你有些自卑而自负，你希望自己能把事情做到最好，你很在乎别人对你的评价，你的性格像小孩，单纯直接，情绪化，喜怒哀乐写在脸上，你没有心机，但也缺少些自我保护的能力，你表面看来很容易相处，但想要走进你的内心世界其实并不容易，你需要人家的鼓励，包容，宠爱和肯定，其实你也常常自我反省，你希望自己能做到起码80%的完美，但你似乎没那个毅力，所以你的情绪变化无常，一定是被这些因素困扰的。
C型人~~
你是择善固执的坚持派，有人与你聊天，你可以天马星空的聊，但你不会主动找对方聊天。你很有原则也很被动，你总是习惯呆在自己的世界里，你在朋友的眼里是比较难深交的人，大家感觉你和人交往，总是点到为止，你心里的那片天地不对外开放，也很保护自己的私隐。

D型人~~
你是积极努力认真派，你对自己要求很高，但一旦遇到和你脾气相似的人，你们就很有惺惺相惜的感觉，因而相谈甚欢。你虽然表面看起来有些严肃，但是其实你单纯善良，你的想法总是积极的，你有很强的自我调节能力，所以即使你遇到苦难，也能很好的处理，你在朋友是最乖的朋友，因为当你真心喜欢一个人的时候，你的贴心和用心会不自然的流露出来，你个朋友的关系看似平淡，但其实双方心里的挂念，彼此都知道。

E型人~~
你开朗没心机，你对朋友很大方，也很周到你很舍得在朋友身上花钱，你看起来漫不经心，实际上你做事很有条理。一旦你要做，就会做得很快，可是往往你懒于去做，你很喜欢说话，你喜欢与别人交流意见，尤其是自己了解的事，你比较好强，可是那种好强并没给他人带来困扰。

F型人~~
你的废话不多，你喜欢观察，不管是人还是事物，你的心思慎密，眼光独到，你总能看出别人看不出的细节，你做事很有计划，这让朋友和你相处起来十分安心，因为你不仅把自己处理得很稳妥，空闲时，还能帮朋友做一些小事，你能掌握别人的想法，你的观点总是比较有建材，也很特别，你很理智和现实，你不喜欢天马行空的乱想，你觉得那样没意义。

G型人~~
你不喜欢想得太远，只要眼下快乐就好，你没什么想像力，你每天关心的是今天要做什么，怎么做。你的生活很简单，正常吃，喝，睡，闷了找人聊点无关要紧的事情，把事情打发走
。你对生活中的快乐与烦恼看得很开，你是个很容易满足的人。

H型人~~
你是和善亲切自然派，你生性豪爽，在你心里没什么过不去的事！你不自卑，不自负也不自私，人生对你而言跟玩似的，困难和不安到你那里，很快就消失，朋友与你一起很舒服，看起来对什么都不在乎的你，会把这种无所谓带给朋友，让对方也能很快走出低痱的情绪.

mine was B, how about u?

alice in the wonderland

2011-10-12T08:38:00.000-07:00

for the past few days,
i have took LOTSA afternoon naps.
and sleeping from 2 to 5 everyday is like a sin for a final year medical student.
felt guilty initially,
nonetheless, i'm getting less emo and more productive at night,
so, i decide to keep this nasty habit of mine for now.
apart from that,
i love those weird-and-ridiculous-but-really-fun-and-crazy-dreams
that i have during afternoon naps,
i bet most of us had weird dreams during afternoon naps, right??
it's a perfect escape.
i'm alice, in a wonderland of dreams,
swimming in a big pool of milk, rolling in a valley of pink rocky candies,
weird-looking animals jumping around happily, cute babies, iphones (wth?!),
etc etc...
crazy, but fun =)

whiners

2011-10-08T11:06:00.000-07:00

i was moaning and groaning quite a lot lately,

about being alone in the ward all day long,

about taking lunches by myself everyday,

about others being cold and not caring enough,
about my ward being bored and nobody cares,

and then i realised,

i'm still the same self-pity, needy whiner after all these years,

just that i'm too proud to admit it.

whining is not gonna change anything,
in fact, whining will just accumulate up all the bad energy and karma,
making us feel sucks and depressive,
less and less optimistic.

read a book last night,
and found some interesting statements.
社会不因牢骚而动容，只因努力而改变。
用行动将牢骚烧成灰烬。
停止唠叨，在好事发生时要感恩，对坏事更要感激。
‘埋怨’ 是心情的病毒，它侵蚀大脑中所有善良的细胞，
蒙蔽住宽容的双眼，使人变得吹毛求疵。
so, gonna stop this bad habit from now,
driving all the bad luck and bad mood away,
shoo~

rant~

2011-10-04T09:30:00.000-07:00

我們的不自由，通常是因為來自內心的不良情緒左右了我們。

看不慣別人、是因為你自己修養不夠！

凌晨星期天

2011-10-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

不要一个人了，可以吗?

weekend-ing

2011-09-17T02:30:00.000-07:00

heavy rainy day,

the ambulances should be kinda busy now i guess, lol~

should stay back in a&e just now, aiks~

currently, i'm in a relatively not-that-bored de posting,

as a matter of fact, kinda dramatic sometimes,

small babies fitting, irritable old women screaming,

elderly man gasping and cursing at the same time,

relatives crying and moaning,

doctors rushing, nurses running, medical student wandering,

MA are the coolest, i guess, haha~

2 weeks of packed schedule are pretty tiring,

but really love the drama in it and what i can say is:

being the first line is not easy at all.

patient can come with anything under the sun,

serious! anything.

(eg => 'angin',

angin can be anywhere, head to toe,

tangan ade angin, kepala angin, perut angin, kaki angin,

somemore these 'angin' can 'run' anywhere,

lol~)

one more week to go,

and we're going to have a trauma moulage next week,

hopefully it will be a fun one!^^

rarr~

2011-09-10T06:44:00.000-07:00

同欢乐的朋友很多，

那...共患难的呢？

你们在哪里？

被恐龙吃掉了吗？

名句精华

2011-08-30T09:44:00.000-07:00

1. 人生就像一杯茶，不会苦一辈子，但总会苦一阵子。

2. 低头要有勇气，抬头要有底气。

3. 傻与不傻，要看你会不会装傻。

4. 幸福是可以通过学习来获得的，尽管它不是我们的母语。

7. 朋友就是把你看透了，还能喜欢你的人。

8. 当我们搬开别人架下的绊脚石时，也许恰恰是在为自己铺路。

9. 如果说我懂的道理比别人多一点，那是因为我犯的错误比别人多一点。

11. 世界上只有想不通的人，没有走不通的路。

12. 地球是运动的，一个人不会永远处在倒霉的位置。

13. 走的最急的是最美的景色，伤的最深的是最真的感情。

15. 当别人开始说你是疯子的时候，你离成功就不远了.

17. 时间就像一张网，你撒在哪里，你的收获就在哪里。

22. 成熟不是心变老，而是眼泪在眼里打转却还保持微笑。

24. 人，长得漂亮不如活的漂亮。

27. 每个人出生的时候都是原创，可悲的是很多人渐渐都成了盗版。

30. 把一切平凡的事做好即不平凡，把一切简单的事做好即不简单。

31. 把不忙不闲的工作做的出色，把不咸不淡的生活过得精彩。

33.
忙碌是一种幸福，让我们没时间体会痛苦..
奔波是一种快乐，让我们真实地感受生活..
疲惫是一种享受，让我们无暇空虚..

36. 探索的旅程不在于发现新大陆，而在于培养新视角。

39. 不是人人都能活的低调，可以低调的基础是随时都能高调。

41. 年轻时候，拍下许多照片，摆在客厅给别人看；等到老了，才明白照片是拍给自己看的。

42. 就算不快乐也不要皱眉，因为你永远不知道谁会爱上你的笑容。

43. 当大部分人都在关注你飞的高不高时，只有少部分人关心你飞的累不累，这就是友情。

45. 让未来到来，让过去过去。

46. 微小的幸福就在身边，容易满足就是天堂。

47. 成功有个副作用，就是以为过去的做法同样适应于将来。

48. 天使之所以会飞，是因为她们把自己看得很轻..

50.喜欢一个人，就是在一起很开心..爱一个人，就是即使不开心，也想在一起..

51. 幽默就是一个人想哭的时候还有笑的兴致。

53. 人之所以活得累，是因为放不下架子，撕不开面子，解不开情节。

54. 漂亮只能为别人提供眼福，却不一定换到幸福。

55. 美丽让男人停下，智慧让男人留下。

56. 人生最精彩的不是实现梦想的瞬间，而是坚持梦想的过程。

57. 忍无可忍，就重新再忍。

58. 付出真心，才会得到真心，却可能伤的彻底；保持距离，才能保护自己，却注定永远寂寞。

59. 废话是人际关系的第一句。

60. 有时候，不是对方不在乎你，而是你把对方看的太重。

from here

dilemma-ing

2011-08-21T07:26:00.000-07:00

in dilemma.

stay or go??

principle or opportunity??

dream or reality??

responsibility or taking chances??

shoooot...

i hate decision making.

can i simply toss a coin to decide it?

infarcted too many brain cells thinking of it.

gleeek~

2011-08-19T20:53:00.000-07:00

in ''super-high-glee-mode'' since last night,

ever since watching their 3D concert,

muahahha~

of course the atmosphere of watching a concert in the cinema was super weird,

cause everyone was acting so cool and calm,

and yet all of us were simply so high and felt like screaming.

so weird.

phew~

so the conclusion is:

better save money and go watch the real live concert!!!

haha =)

they also shared some small stories about how glee changed their lives,

for me, it did too.

today, it cheered up my gloomy saturday morning,

happy loser saturday!!!

moves on, moves forward.

2011-08-13T23:08:00.000-07:00

美好的星期天，

热呼呼的艳阳，

晒透浅蓝色的窗帘，

投射在赤裸的肩膀上。

深深的吸入一口阳光，

好踏实的一秒。

头上的乌云密布，

似乎有一段日子了，

生气一个人，本来就不好受，

更何况生气的是最好的朋友。

《原谅别人，就是善待自己》

说，总比做来得容易。

人生应用题，

果然比以前考的佛法试卷难上一百倍。

或许，是因为真的一直考不好，

所以，老师才不断的重考。

这次，看来似乎又要被当了。

〈无我〉这堂课，

还真的是一点都不简单。

放下。

放下了嗔的包袱，

才能轻松的往前走。

太阳底下，有那么多美好的事情，

把时间浪费的生气上，

不是太笨了吗？

moves on, moves forward.

~无病呻吟~

2011-08-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

end posting rants

2011-07-31T09:14:00.000-07:00

finished my o&g finally!! yay~

should be doing this reflection much earlier,

but totally not in the mood of writing anything,

after attending the most depressing forum ever in mecca,

in which the take home message was:

"u're gonna lose ur job VERY SOON!! "

i need SSRI pls, STAT!

well, kicking off the final year with 0&g might be the best arrangement for me,

not much time to lepak around,

not much time to get emo,

not much time to screw up my own life as well.

that's a good thing i guess.

moreover, i did gained lotsa new experiences,

having fun here and there, and tried my hands on lotsa new things.

assisted in 2 caesareans, which both ended up with PPH. (not my fault, it's the uterus!)

conducted 5 deliveries, with 3 precipitated labours. (not my fault again, some babies just simply can't wait, or maybe i have prostaglandins in my pheromone?? lol~)

performed 2 amniontomy successfully!!! yay!!!!!! though it's just a simple procedure.

(who cares~^^)

nonetheless, at the same time,
i did experienced lotsa frustrations and bad memories too.

nah~ not gonna keep them down.

life moves forward, not backward.

well, in comparison to my previous o&g posting,

less work satisfaction has achieved,

i dunno whether it's due to the sky-high expectations?? less guidance aka. more sesat??

tough competitions and the sardine-can-like wards??

well, my last 3 weeks was basically like zombie wandering around the hell aka. ward lifelessly.

i guess i did realised my mistakes by now,

i've forgotten my goal, totally.

so, instead of striving hard to achieve it,

i was just wandering around aimlessly.

*smack head* piak~

going to a new posting 2mr, family med.

not sure whether i'm gonna like it, but gonna like it anyway.

and i'm gonna remind myself everyday, on my goal,

and tell myself that what i did today,

will make a difference 2mr.

some nice sharings from our deputy dean this morning,

''we only have one life, dream what we wanna dream, do what we wanna do"

"The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway." Mother Teresa.

"Passion!!"

aza aza!!^^

七月半

2011-07-17T05:40:00.000-07:00

在呼吸间，想起你，

想要个抱抱，可以吗？

my 1st pizza!!

2011-06-14T02:00:00.001-07:00

on the 2nd day of my new posting,

with lotsa stress and 0&g-induced-PMS,

aggravated by yellow ward and the on-call list,

i decided to microwave a cheap tesco pizza to cheer myself up,

turn out to be....

ta-da!!!!

it did...sort of cheered me up a little...lol

=loosing life=

~desperado june~

2011-06-11T20:56:00.000-07:00

yo peps!!! i'm back~~

it's soo0o0oo good to be back!!

i was in Rembau, Ulu Sepri jungle for the past 1 week,

with no internet, no network coverage,

just peoples around.

the first part of the camp was ppd,

which was super fun and exciting,

the activities were no longer that physically exhausting in comparison with the previous ones,

good for us, senior citizens, haha!

and i got the best facilitator i ever had,

motivating, inspiring and dedicated.

hopefully i can be like her,

one day in the future.

yay!! group 5!! the popular grp!!! opps~ haha

pejuang2 sekalian~ before medical explorace~

reached to dam!!

as for the 2nd part,

i guess i did kinda hate it,

pathetic big-sized sausage monster,

brainwashing games,

biased facts...

nah~ not gonna bother my mind with all those craps...

hehe~ besides that,

i celebrated my 24th birthday there!!

it was fun, tho kinda weird,

the 1st celebration i got was beside the girls' dome toilet,

by a bunch of besties!! love yea sista~*hugssSs*

and 2nd celebration was in front of the whole batch~*blush*

by our camp commander and the committee,

i'm totally flattered.

haha~

and finally the last ones, a simple dinner in kaki corner,

i'm blessed, i guess,

to have all these friends around me for all these years,

life will be so bored without u guys!! haha!

thanks peps!! *hugs*

jimuis2 sekalian~

hengdais2 sekalian~

now, it's the final one day before my new sem starts,

another huge challenge ahead,

the final war for my medical school life,

a new start,

a new year,

a new game,

i'm so gonna finish it in awesomeness!!!

rarrrrr~~

haha!!

wish me luck!!^^

last but not least,

*senior citizen who can't stop membebel-ing*

few things to share:

1. "friends, are for sharing, not for demands'' *from weewen's blog*

2. 'Imagine' by John Lennon. how great will it be, if comes true.

3. people with principles, will be an asset, no matter where he/she goes.

4. pave our own road.

夜深人静一首歌

2011-06-02T21:27:00.000-07:00

丁当 - 一半

喝酒的伴一起看电影的伴
早午晚餐的那个伴
朋友不能留得太晚
明天要上班
唱K的伴一起去旅行的伴
听懂我的笑话的伴
我的生活只差那个人就美满

快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽

没人分享幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满
节日却提醒我孤单

没有想法有想法又能怎样
只能写部落格整晚
几个留言安慰不了心里的遗憾
没有负担原来也是种负担
自由多得让人心慌
你羡慕我那要不要跟我交换

快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽

没人分享幸福就只剩一半
努力把日子填满
别来提醒我多孤单

快乐剩一人分享快乐就只剩一半
喝一碗汤
心怎么都不够暖
这张被单这张睡床
再舒服都觉得太宽

没人分享幸福就只剩一半
就算把日子都填满
没人知道我多孤单

saw someone commented below the video,

''不管是怎樣的人, 只要單身都會有這感覺吧..."

后备

2011-05-29T10:06:00.000-07:00

曾经读过一本卫斯理小说，叫《后备》，

故事叙述一个匪夷所思的阴谋，

一间由外星人创造的医院，

拥有着复制人的科技。

他们为世界各地的富豪们复制自己的后备，

等他们老了或病了时，

就用这些后备们来取代他们坏了的身体...

故事里，那些后备们被形容为

一个个没有灵魂的身体，

像形尸走肉般的生存，

想象起来，还挺恐怖的。

后备，

总觉得，是种尴尬的身份，

风平浪静时，无人问津，

可有可无的存在。

当正牌的受伤了，病倒了，不在了, 离开了，

才是他出场的时候。

他，总是默默的在想：

“只要我默默的等，

默默的努力，默默的付出，

总有一天，我也会变成正式的球员，

上场去淋漓尽致的发挥...”

会有那么的一天吗？

我想，与其等待，

不如换个球队吧。

人生，有几个十年啊？

a quote from: cai gao.

唠唠叨叨

2011-05-26T08:55:00.000-07:00

是时候，停止绕着别人的生活打转，

是时候，听听自己心声，发发自己的脾气，

是时候，我行我素，开心就好，

就因为，一句话：

老娘我累了!!

不管了!!!

Life is too short to be unhappy :(

Forget all the drama and smile :)

Kill your enemies with a good, big smile :D

sharing: 人生没有命定的不幸，只有早衰的绝望

2011-05-24T09:47:00.000-07:00

有人说：“没有你爱的人和爱你的人，生命怎么不绝望？”

其实人最大的成就是什么呢？是找到恋人，结婚生子，名利双收？

其实不妨简单一点，人只要能做到安心，定心，遇上挫折也不绝望，已是最大的成就。

人生没有命定的不幸，只有早衰的绝望。

“信望”爱是很重要的，有信念便能绝处逢生，有希望便会继续向前走，有爱便永不放弃，

不只为满足私欲而活着。

这是生命的意义，存在的目的。

永远不会没有人爱你，因为世上最爱你的人就是你的身体，无论你多番离弃它伤害它，它也没有微言继续支持你，养活你。

也不应该没有你爱的人，因为爱的最基本便是先爱你自己。

别怨命，命运没有待薄任何人，只会顺应你的心助你一把。

你悲观它会把你推向更悲观，你坚强它会给你更强的能量。

有信念的人才有希望，有希望的人才能自爱爱他人。

不要害怕孤独一个人，不要等待爱。

爱是行动，马上行动，好好和自己恋爱一场，你将发现原来你并不孤独，自爱的人自然会走在一起，相亲相爱，照亮世界。

人生就是为了找寻爱的过程，每个人的人生都要找到四个人

第一个是自己，

第二个是你最爱的人，

第三个是最爱你的人，

第四个是共度一生的人．

茫茫人海中，你遇见了谁？谁又会遇见了你？

from here.

sharing: 四句终身受益的话

2011-05-24T04:55:00.000-07:00

有位少年去拜访一位年长的智者。

他问智者：“我如何才能成为一个自己愉快，同时也能给别人带去愉快的人呢？”

智者看着他说：“孩子，在你这个年龄有这样的愿望，已经很难得了。我送你四句话。

第一句话是，把自己当成别人。

你能说说这句话的含义吗？''

少年回答说：“是不是说，在我感到痛苦忧伤的时候，就把自己当成别人，这样痛苦就自然减轻了；当我欣喜若狂之际时，把自己当成别人，那些狂喜也会变得平和中正一些吧？”

智者微微点头，接着说：“第二句话，把别人当成自己。”

少年沉思一会儿，说：“这样就可以真正同情别人的不幸，理解别人的需求，在别人需要的时候给予恰当的帮助？”

智者两眼发光，继续说道：“第三句话，把别人当成别人。”

少年说：“这句话的意思是不是说，要充分地尊重每个人的独立性，在任何情况下都不可侵犯他人的核心领地？”

智者哈哈大笑说：“很好，很好。孺子可教也！

第四句话是，把自己当成自己。

这句话理解起来太难了，留着你以后慢慢品味吧。”

少年说：“这四句话之间有太多自相矛盾之处，我用什么才能把它们统一起来呢？”

智者说：“很简单，用一生的时间和经历。”少年沉默了很久，然后叩首告别。

后来少年变成了壮年人，又变成了老人。再后来他离开这个世界很久以后，人们都还时时提到他的名字。人们都说他是一位智者，因为他是一个愉快的人，而且也给每一个见到过他的人带来了愉快。

from here.

开心就好

2011-05-24T02:38:00.000-07:00

明明伤心得很了，还装着一副开心乐天的样子，

明明很生气很受伤了，还要装着一副无所谓的样子，

明明介意得很的事，还要装作一点都不在乎。

或许，真的就不是那么的重要吧，

或许，就是太敏感太小家子气了吧，

或许，过了那么多年，还是那么的可有可无的吧，

或许，就像书上写的那样，这是一个无法避免的生命课题，

或许，根本就没舍原因，人生原本就应该是酱子的，

或许吧，

开心就好。

argh..

2011-05-19T07:56:00.000-07:00

运气背透了，

去年的圣诞礼物保温杯，摔破了，

今年清迈买的拖鞋，拖烂了，

啊!!!!!

好想大声尖叫!!

一箩箩芝麻绿豆的小事，

压得我快透不过气啦。...

不要再整我了，行吗？

T.T.....

to mom, with love

2011-05-07T08:53:00.000-07:00

Happy Mother's Day!!

to my best Mom ever!!!!

mimi mimi, 我爱你~

muacx!!!!

可爱的妈咪

2011-05-07T08:05:00.000-07:00

祝天下所有的妈妈们，

母亲节快乐!!!

今年的母亲节，

我这只叉烧又没回家了，

家里来了通搞笑的电话，

说妈妈中小小的幸运奖! *晕*

老妈子说要买台新电话给我，已说了一段日子了，

反倒是我，坚持要用回我那架烂到不行的小白。

这次，循例的，她又问了：

"要不要买电话啊？"

我虽然心痒痒的，但最后还是拒绝了，

妈妈工作辛苦那么多年了，

好不容易有那么一点点的钱,

可以比较奢侈的花，

我们这些不必工作也有钱花的叉烧们，

怎能可以剥夺她那小小的享受。

不过妈妈却讲了一些超感动兼肉麻的话，

“我也很sayang你们吗，

也想买好东西给你们用，

给你们享受。。”

*感动*

老妈，您辛苦了，

我过得很好，

真的很好，

不用操心，

知足常乐，

你们健健康康，平平安安，

我就心满意足了。

人生如此，夫复何求？

*生活中最大的幸福就是，坚信有人爱着我们*

三更半夜的high

2011-05-06T10:18:00.000-07:00

it's 1.31am in the morning,

and here i am again, 欢乐-ing~

i have a basketball game 2mr EARLY morning，

and the worst thing is:

i'm in a super manic mode now，

screaming the high pitch of born this way~

lol~

今天收到了个超棒的好消息，

虽然跟我这只蟑螂一点关系都没有，

可是我还是超high了整个下午，

祝他们有情人终成眷属，甜甜蜜蜜直到永远~

*aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~mode*

phew~ *深呼吸*

近来，一连串发生了好多好多事情，

有人在一起了，

有人定婚了，

有人结婚了，

有人要定婚，也要结婚了，

有人分手了，

有人分手了又有新恋情了，

有人毕业了，

有人出国了，

有人开始新工作了，

身边的人，都在忙着变化，

五花八门，眼花缭乱，

但，精彩得很。

唯独自己，

一直还在原地踏步，

还踏在同一个框框里，

毫然跟不上周边的步伐。

曾几何时，

我已走出了这个大剧场，

乐得清闲的当个凑热闹的观众。

有好有坏，

没有上山下海超级过山车的心情，

也没有让心脏停止，呼吸急促的刺激，

只有平淡安逸的小快乐，

还有那一点点寂寞的庸人之扰。

最后一年了，

还蛮想玩得再疯点，

闹得更唯恐不乱点，

荒唐得乱七八糟点，

好让我回首当年时，

肯定自己确确实实的活过。

落大雨

2011-05-03T02:38:00.000-07:00

外头下着滂沱大雨，

四周一片白朦朦，

雨水打在地上的味道，

即刺鼻又熟悉。

肚子空了一整天，

真的饿到不行了，

烫了一包热腾腾的速食粥,

窝在暖呼呼的被子里，

吃着一碗幸福。

收音机传来‘记得’，

唤醒久违的回忆，

淡淡的伤感，如层层涟漪，

陪伴着旋律。。。

很喜欢这样的一个下午，

宁静，安逸。

看来，

这又是一个文雅得一点都不像我

的下雨天。。

闷得发慌

2011-04-29T07:43:00.000-07:00

*一样的开场白*

又好久没瞎掰了，

回来一段日子了，

有好几次，打开部落格，

却脑袋空空，写不出东西来，

日子太颓废了吧...

周末的夜晚，一轮皎洁，

颓废的冷风，习习嗖嗖，

慵懒的爵士，悠忽哉哉，

心系的挂念，却无处不在...

现在是凌晨三点钟

2011-04-08T10:03:00.000-07:00

好久没瞎掰了，

假期已花得七七八八，

该玩的，玩够了，

该闹的，也闹饱了，

就等下星期，

要回地狱里去了~ *哭*

假期过得很好，很舒服，

没压力，没烦恼，

顶多就给老妈碎碎念，就几句，

给老爸差差，干点活儿。。

最忙的事，

就是陪着老爸看了整个假期的内陆连续剧，

中文倒是进步了不少。。

（我上面写的，是不是超有‘中国-feel'???）

muahahaha~

不小心又打回原形来了。。

还有一个礼拜，就要开学了，

我的 “pre- SCHOOL GOING TO START LIAO!!!” syndrome” 又发作了，

蓝(blue)了，好几天，

灰 (emo)了，也好几天，

多愁伤感了，也好几天，

哭了，也好几天。

假期，时间就是太多了，人也太闲着，

脑袋才会不务正业，胡思乱想。

好了，是时候振作振作了，

整顿整顿那粘了灰的心情，

好好的享受这最后几天的人生，

再重新出发吧!!! ^^

ps: 在网路上看到这几个字儿，写出了四年的匆匆，在此分享：

“马不停蹄地错过，轻而易举的辜负，不知不觉的陌路”

不过，

过去的，就让它过去吧，随风而散，

未来的，用心瞻望，细心耕耘，更加珍惜。

事都往好的方面去想，

人都往好的方面去看，

生活才会乐得轻松，

乐得自在。。。

holiday rants!!!!

2011-03-21T21:06:00.000-07:00

hey hey, i'm STILL in HOLIDAY~~~~~

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~

and holiday is so so nice,

everything is at brainstem level,

and hence now,

i ended up with my frontal lobe atrophied,

lol~

nothing much,

just some random updates and rants again,

and what have i've done for the past 1 month....

1.) my thailand trip

the best beach in phuket ==>> Maya Bay!!!

the rest are....*ehem*....sthg like Batu Feringghi...

and of course,

there are lots and lots of nice and majestic temples in Chiangmai and Chiangrai...

one of my favourite, the White Temple~

opps, we blocked it....

nah...this is better...

and its this guy who built it...
*not me!!! argh!!!!*

the infamous golden triangle~

sorry guys, no more poppy for souvenirs...

boat trip to Laos, without passport!!!^^

northest point of thailand, border of Myanmar~
also the place where i lost my wallet AGAIN~~

pretty little girl of the long neck tribe~

night cycling in chiangmai town~

weeeeeeeeeeeeee~~

freezing cold waterfall~~

super kongbu de elephant riding~~

bamboo rafting~

last but not least, FOOD!!!!

my favourite mini tots!!!!

all sorts of mee mee mee~~

coconut ice-cream~ *craving**drooling*

and JUNKS!!!

2.) Attachment in Penang Adventist Hospital for 2 weeks

all the doctors and nurses are super nice and friendly~~

i guess that's all for now,

happy holiday everyone!!!!

ciao~

对号入座

2011-03-19T09:49:00.000-07:00

你见，或者不见我
我就在那里
不悲不喜

你念，或者不念我
情就在那里
不来不去

你爱，或者不爱我
爱就在那里
不增不减

你跟，或者不跟我
我的手就在你手里
不舍不弃

来我的怀里或者让我住进你的心里
默然相爱
寂静欢喜

by 达赖喇嘛仓央嘉措

came across this poem twice in a week,

such a coincidence...

and i

fall deeply in love with it.

sharing: 成熟

2011-03-09T07:56:00.000-08:00

哭的時候沒人哄，我學會了堅強；

怕的時候沒人陪，我學會了勇敢；

煩的時候沒人問，我學會了承受；

累的時候沒人可以依靠，我學會了自立……

就這樣我找到了自己，

原來我很優秀，更可貴的是，

世界上，

我只有一個，只有一個我！

from: http://donna123.pixnet.net/blog/post/27200835

post-exam updates

2011-02-18T08:38:00.000-08:00

hey hey hey~~

i'm now enjoying my sweet sweet holiday~~

muahaha~

it has been a long time since my last post,

my 4th year final exam was finally over,

even the results was been announced this evening,

and the good news is:

==> i PASSed jorr!!!!

*cheers* *claps*

gen en o~

i'm finally a final year student~

(after 4 years...)

phew~

i was busy celebrating for the past one week,

having my so-called post-exam mania

(after ahedonia-ed for two weeks, including my CNY...sob sob... )

went to Dong Chan temple, Zoo Negara (finally~^^'') and etc etc....

together with a bunch of crazy posting mates~

ate lotsa lotsa nice food~ weeeeee~~

and put on lotsa weights too....damm...

so, looking back to my 4th year,

it's been a long year,

after having adjustment disorder for the first few months,

with lotsa maladaptive emotions and behaviours,

finally, i blended in.

it's weird isn't it??

1 year before i predicted myself a pathetic year ahead,

and 1 year later, i'm having so much fun with no regrets...

it's a life lesson afterall...i guess

5 years of medical school life,

it's really a long long journey,

and i guess i'm almost reaching the end...

无题N

2011-01-28T22:46:00.000-08:00

曾经在网路上看过一个还蛮搞笑的比喻：

“生活就像被强奸, 如果不能反抗，就躺下来好好享受”
瞎得来...

还蛮有意思的...

对啊，

很多事情，虽然人不身在江湖，但还是身不由己的，

很多事情，明明很努力了，但还是事与愿违的，

很多事情，即使三思而后行了，最后还是会荒腔走板的,

所以，

很多事情，尽力就好，

如果真得还是走了样，

那就好好的享受那片刻的走调...

好，瞎毕，

继续努力。。。

on the 2nd day of study week....

2011-01-23T07:00:00.000-08:00

darn i'm hopeless.....

review 2010

2011-01-03T22:41:00.000-08:00

i guess this is not a suitable time for me to blog...

i have cwu, presentation, mini CEx (no, not mini sex) and lotsa learning issues for 2mr's pbl,

rarrr~~

i guess it's my OCD again,

that i MUST write something about my 2010.

okay, here we go then...

generally, 2010 was kinda different from my previous years in uni.

comparatively, i'm not that maniacally involved in activities anymore,

i guess eamsc and pac run were the only two for me...

organising eamsc was one the best moments i have in uni

while pac was my worst nightmare of all...

i can still remember the nightmare & panic attacks i had before pac,

("...eh...is this the run?? why no people at all??? aaaaaaaaaaaaa~~)

while chinese class was sort of like a part-time hobby of mine...haha

hmm, the best part about 2010???

==> TRAVELing!!!

though mostly were cuti2 m'sia, it's really good enough for me^^

sabah was awesome, i missed the sunsets there

cameron was chilling, i missed the cherry tomatoes & strawberries there

penang was never boring, i missed my home and the beaches there

(nah~ i was just tour-guiding for the 'N' times...=.=lll)

london was lovely, i missed the autumn there

muar was crazy, i missed the asam fish, otak2 and laughters there

malacca was yummy, i missed the cendol & satay celup there

trolak was confusing, i missed the fun and english there

anyway,

2010 was a rather personal year for me,

in which i can FINALLY settle down,

and spend more time on myself...

thinking of what i've done in the past,

and what i truly wanna be in the future...

it wasn't a continuous thinking process,

rather it was an accumulation of observations, happenings and reflections...

besides that, i had successfully rehabilitated myself from a very nasty addiction of mine...haha

nah~ i'm not gonna tell that here...

so, overall,

it's a wonderful year after all.

~new year~

2011-01-02T03:58:00.000-08:00

yea~

那种熟悉的感觉又回来了，

好怀念哦~

辛苦工作了一整天后，

心满意足的回头望，

再忙里偷闲...

用这种感觉来开始新的一年，

真是太棒了!!!

又回到了那痛痛的感觉，

痛痛的状况，

反而更有斗志！

命苦的人，

没有悲伤的权利.

(*犯贱*) 瞎~

new year,

new game,

new resolution,

no matter who you are in the past,

don't ever look back,

it's 'to be' that matters....

so,

live strong, play hard!!!

receive a forward message from a friend during new year eve;

"life's short,

break the rules,

forgive & forget quickly,

love & kiss truly,

laugh uncontrollably &

never regret anything that made u smile"

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!

(ps: it's my OCD again, new year =>> a 'must-blog-moment')

~season greetings~

2010-12-23T09:09:00.000-08:00

just realised how diverse my family is when it comes to religions and beliefs.

we have the 'bai-ang-kong' ones,

the buddhist, (ranging from the extreme devotee to the 'half-boiled' type like me)

we have christians and catholics,

as well as muslims...

and last but not least, the 'sesat' ones like my sis...

muahaha~

we can choose to divide or separate ourselves by the colours of our skin or the faith that we believe,

yet, we choose to embrace our differences and celebrate the diversity~~

cheers to everyone in this joyful season~

happy belated tongzhi!!!

merry christmas!!!

and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!^^

(ps: btw, should i get an indian hubby or an orang-asli instead?? haha~)

有病而发

2010-12-13T04:04:00.000-08:00

在医院呆久了，

每天都看惯了一大堆很canggih又要生要死的病后，

就一概把感冒发烧咳嗽喉咙痛都当成小病一个，

没什么大不了，

也没什么好担心的。

所以每当有人问起时，

我总会很敷衍兼没舍同情心的说：

“噢~ 感冒发烧啊？

多喝水，多休息就可以了，

没什么的啦~

细菌感染而已啦~”

现在，轮到自己‘发烧喉咙痛而已啦~’

却觉得非常的痛苦。。

头很痛，喉咙很干，

烧一直退不完，

抗生素从五天拖到一个礼拜后还吃不完。。

回想起。。

生病，其实无分大小，

即使是很轻微的头痛或发烧，

都会对病人带来莫大的困扰，

没办法专心，没办法工作，

不能唱歌，又不能熬夜，

也不可以淋雨，

没办法吃那些煎煎炸炸得来又很好吃的食物，

(ps: 这只是喉咙痛发烧而已哦，想想那些糖尿病，高血压等等。。）

那种无奈，

是身体健康时的我们体验不到的。。。

懒惰病

2010-12-12T04:46:00.000-08:00

差不多有一个月多没跑步了，

每天下午都在下雨，

下了雨，

病人就窝在暖暖的被里睡猪觉，

睡醒了就吃，

吃饱了又睡，

高烧退了又来，来了又退，

一整个礼拜都病殃殃的，

每天只想睡大觉。。

不行！！

明天开始，要从新振作，

好好的照顾自己！

振作振作！！

ps: 病人现在正在很幸福的吃着金马伦的 strawberries 和 cherry tomatoes~

yay~

sharing: 好好生活，品味人生，享受幸福

2010-12-01T11:47:00.000-08:00

關於人生：
人生如夢，歲月無情。驀然回首，才發現人活著是一種心情。窮也好，富也好，得也好，失也好。一切都是過眼雲煙。想想，不管昨天、今天、明天，能豁然開朗就是美好的一天。不管親情、友情、愛情，能永遠珍惜就是好心情。記得有一個經典短信這樣寫著：曾經擁有的不要忘記；已經得到的更加珍惜；屬於自己的不要放棄；已經失去的留作回憶；想要得到的一定要努力；累了把心靠岸；選擇了就不要後悔；苦了才懂得滿足；痛了才享受生活；傷了才明白堅強；總有起風的清晨；總有絢爛的黃昏；總有流星的夜晚。人生就像一張有去無回的單程車票，沒有彩排，每一場都是現場直播。把握好每次演出便是對人生最好的珍惜。把握現在，暢享人生！

關於友情：
有一天，友情和愛情碰見。愛情問友情：世上有我了，為什麼還要有你的存在？友情笑著說：愛情會讓人們流淚，而友情的存在就是幫人們擦乾眼淚！朋友就是：偶爾會為你擔心、向你關心、替你懆心、想你開心、逗你開心、請你放心。朋友之間，懂得關懷才是難得……傷心時不妨和我說；痛苦時別忘了跟我講；有病時別忘了通知我；困難時記得要請教我；失望時要想起還有我；開心時更不要忘記我。朋友的定義，就在於此……我們是朋友，這就夠了……

關於微笑：
被人誤解的時候能微微的一笑，這是一種素養；受委屈的時候能坦然的一笑，這是一種大度；吃虧的時候能開心的一笑，這是一種豁達；處窘境的時候能自嘲的一笑，這是一種智慧；無奈的時候能達觀的一笑，這是一種境界；危難的時候能泰然一笑，這是一種大氣；被輕蔑的時候能平靜的一笑，這是一種自信；失戀的時候能輕輕的一笑，這是一種灑脫。不管是有什麼事情，為了什麼原因……我們每天都要開心一笑…………

關於生活：
日出東海落西山，愁也一天，喜也一天；遇事不鑽牛角尖，人也舒坦，心也舒坦；每天領取謀生錢，多也喜歡，少也喜歡；少葷多素日三餐，粗也香甜，細也香甜；新舊衣服不挑撿，好也禦寒，賴也禦寒；常與知己聊聊天，古也談談，今也談談；全家老少互慰勉，貧也相安，富也相安。
關於幸福：
相傳幸福是個美麗的玻璃球，跌碎散落在世間的每個角落。有的人撿到多些，有的人撿到少些。卻沒有人能擁有全部。愛你所愛選你所選，珍惜現在所擁有的一切。人活著就是一種心情，把握今天，設置明天，儲存永遠。只要用心感受，幸福就會永遠存在。
from:http://www.taiwan.look.tw/M_Act_Share_Cont.aspx?asid=00004172

end posting again.

2010-11-25T09:36:00.000-08:00

1st + 2nd week:

bph research discussion report

preparation for ssm presentation in the department

applying and planning for trauma conference

slowing gaining courage and confidence to speak with psychiatry patients

3rd week:

preparation for london trip

looking for potential cwu

career session + report

4th week:

trauma conference

5th week:

community project~ (yay~ they're really cute~)

muar~ makan sambil belajar

cwu cwu cwu~ (draft)

6th week:

visit visit visit~

hbuk and hkl

run run run~

7th week:

cwu cwu cwu AGAIN~ (final edition~ phew~)

long case~ T.T

go home~ home sweet home~

FAMILY REUNION!!!!

8th week:

study sambil lepak~

MALACCA~~

this is basically how i go through my psy posting.

i had a really super busy posting,

doing lotsa other stuffs instead of psy...

by the end of this posting,

my conclusion is:

i have a super nice and awesome supervisor,

who made me understood about the real basics of psy,

nice group-mates,

which we have lotsa fun together,

but my brain still empty empty...T.T

DSM criteria are like stilnox to me,

which i can fall asleep within 5mins reading it,

can anyone please tell me any good solutions for it??

anyway, i felt strongly about this idea again,

medicine is always an art of apprenticeship,

great teachers inspire their students.

and this is how my supervisor guided me through this posting.

though i'm still not good in the knowledge of psychiatry,

at least i truly knew what psychiatry illnesses are,

and understand their patients.

understanding leads to acceptance.

i think this is my biggest lesson learnt afterall.

=凡人杂想=

2010-11-24T07:43:00.000-08:00

依稀记得, 你曾对我说过:

我们的爱, 不要有执著...

当爱有了执著,

就只剩下痛苦.

我怎么忘了呢?

nice sharing: 一生只有兩天

2010-11-17T01:27:00.000-08:00

一生只有兩天：「第一天」和「最後一天」。

就先從賈伯斯追女朋友講起囉！賈伯斯是誰？他是蘋果公司的創辦人，是世界第一部個人電腦的發明人之一，也就是出產iPhone公司的老闆。話說1985年，賈伯斯被自己創立的蘋果公司掃地出門！可以想像當時的打擊有多大，但是賈伯斯只鬱卒了一下子，很快他就振作起來了。有一天他在一所大學演講，「她」坐在聽眾席聆聽，賈伯斯被剎到了。

活動一結束，賈伯斯就去跟「她」聊天，拿到了電話號碼。原本想開口約「她」當天晚上一起吃晚餐，可是又正好有個會議要開，只好把快要說出口的話，吞了回去。

當賈伯斯準備去開車離開時，他問了自己一個「老問題」，這是他每天早上面對鏡子問自己的一個問題-「如果今天是我這輩子的最後一天，我今天要做些什麼？」......答案出來了，賈伯斯馬上跑回去演講廳找「她」，約去共進晚餐。這位「她」-LaurenePowell寶兒-現在就是賈伯斯的老婆。

引述賈伯斯的一段話：「提醒自己快死了，是我在人生中面臨重大決定時，所用過最重要的方法。因為幾乎每件事－所有外界期望、所有的名聲、所有對困窘或失敗的恐懼－在面對死亡時，都消失了，只有最真實重要的東西才會留下。」

賈伯斯又補充說：「提醒自己快死了，是我所知避免掉入畏懼失去的陷阱裡最好的方法。人生不帶來、死不帶去，沒理由不能順心而為。」我們也靜下心來，問自己「最後一天」這個問題- 「如果今天是我這輩子的最後一天，我今天要做些什麼？」

「第一天」又是什麼呢？-當「第一天」入大學讀書，我們對學校、課本、同學充滿好奇心-當「第一天」進公司上班，我們謙虛，願意學習，有衝勁-當「第一天」約會，我們小鹿亂撞，珍惜相處的每一刻-當「第一天」晉升職等，新官上任三把火，有滿腹雄心壯志，要有所作為回想我們做任何事的「第一天」，都是我們最有活力的一天。時光不能倒流，但態度可以回轉。

click here for his wonderful speech

random wed

2010-11-16T23:08:00.000-08:00

it's a beautiful wed,

cause it's a public holiday~

yay~

lame...

it's quite a gloomy day actually,

crisp cool,

and drizzling occasionally.

clicking aimlessly on fb,

i saw this album,

it's really nice,

so, i shared it here with everyone,

hope it'll cheer up everyone's gloomy day moody emo...

~人生的選擇人生有三態～【悲觀、樂觀與達觀。】

悲觀的人說：人生像一杯苦酒，清濁均苦澀。
樂觀的人說：人生像一杯美酒，點滴皆芬芳。
達觀的人說：人生像一杯清泉，冷暖都清涼。

悲觀的人見到人生的生老病死；
樂觀的人見到人生的甘甜喜樂；
達觀的人見到人生的春夏秋冬。

悲觀的人埋怨風向
樂觀的人等待風向；
達觀的人調整風帆。

悲觀的人用加法生活，平添勞苦；
樂觀的人用減法生活，減少憂傷；
達觀的人用除法生活，分享喜樂。

與大家共勉之~(歡迎"分享"，感恩合十)

adapted from 靜思語~

just another week.

2010-11-13T21:58:00.000-08:00

it seems like becoming a routine of mine,

for updating my blog at least once a week.

that's good right??

keeping everything on track.

nah~ i'm not that rajin la~

just waiting for my pics to be uploaded in fb~

haha~ gotcha~

=.=lll....

okay, back to this week.

routine med student aka. nerd life,

done cwu => a big yay!!!

visit to hosp. besar UK => not that UK again lar~ it's Ulu Kinta aka. so-called tanjung rambutan.

visit to hkl methadone clinic => place where druggies get sthg else instead of the REAL stuff.

basically, having fun here n there,

hot juicy gossips,

sleep,

gossips AGAN,

and sleep AGAIN...

weekends were much more fulfilling then,
for sat,

i attended a cardio-teach-in-session by college of physicians,

with bunch of ji-muis~

it was kinda interesting, but i dozed off occasionally.

(wonder when baru can i get rid of this habit??....zZzZzZzz...)

2 outcomes from it:

1.) freezing cold air-con => frozen brain => dozed off

2.) i really need to read my ECG made easy!!! becoz it's NOT EASY at all!!!

for sunday,

~ let's get physical~ physical~

haha~

went to bangi for a charity run.

by amsa health fiesta.

it's a good experience actually,

coz i NEVER really complete a run PROPERLY before,

(ps: one of my precious embarrass moment, came back by bus~ don't laugh!! blek!)

and i found an useful tips,

SET A TARGET!!!

GET A COMPETITOR!!!

and GO FOR IT!!!!

NAIL IT!!!

big group photo!!! bunch of mandarin oranges.

the uncle on the truck: ape budak semua ini buat...?!

completed run!! yay!!!

okay, that's all for it.

stop crapping.

tutttttttttttttttt.....

of traveling and food!!

2010-11-06T05:37:00.000-07:00

lots of stuff going on between this and my previous post,

i went to london for Trauma Conference in Imperial College last week,

i went to muar yesterday,

i neglect my psy for the past 2 weeks, (haha, kill me~)

i got my exam result slip,

and now....

finally, i can settle down...

speaking of Trauma Conference,

it's really an awesome experiences,

we applied for it 1 month before the conference,

and our application got approved 1 week before the conference,

all the prep work was done within 1 week,

everything was so packed,

i was busy like hell for that week,

however, it really paid off ....

the best part of the conference was those practical workshops,

where we get to learn stuffs like insertion of chest tube, intubation, cricothyroidectomy, etc...

my 1st cricothyroidectomy

and i'm the slowest...^^"

unlike eamsc and amsc,

this conference was completely academic-based.

(actually they have social events as well, but we ponteng it~ haha~)

sight-seeing was fun,

london is indeed a very beautiful city,

with lots of amazing artistic buildings, statues, parks...

the sceneries were simply breath-taking...

green green grass and witted maple leaves = awesome!!!^^

the red telephone booth!!!

posing like victoria??!! lolz~~

st. james park~ lovely autumn~

museums are awesome too,

too bad i don't have the privilege to spent more time on them...

(ps: i saw real mummies~ and dinosaurs too!!! dead of course~^^")

though accidents happened here and there,

but overall it was an awesome trip.

hope i can tour the whole europe next time,

weeeeee~~

1 day after i came back,

with my biological clock still jet-lag-ing,

spontaneously, i went to muar....

with a bunch of S.A.D. penang siao-kia-s,

(*S.A.D. = single, available, desperate /

sexually, aggressive, desperate, coz single is not applicable on one of us)

my nanny~ we stayed at his place~ 1 of the tourist spot too^^

after ruining his place, he brought out the parang~~ haha

the whole trip was full of craziness, fao-kua-ness, sarcasms, juicy gossips and lotsa lotsa fun!!!!

pi-gui-pi-guai on the road^^

at gunung ledang, we polluted their waterfalls with chemicals, hairs and nasal discharge~

we ate and ate and ate...non-stop.

yay~ my favourite food!! we finished 40 in 10mins^^

laugh and laugh and laugh....non-stop as well.

well, the best part of the trip was all of us are very close friends,

sporting, crazy and spontaneous...

so i guess u can imagine how was the trip throughout....

ai-yan beside the road

fao-kua in the 'palace'~

ai-yan AGAIN~ by a gigantic durian~

(ps: even dwee wee got infected too!!!)

i enjoyed the trip very much,

despite it was just a 2-day trip,

hope all of us can embark on another cuti2 m'sia trip again...

so, that's all for now i think..

gonna work hard for the next few coming weeks,

(ps: got my worse exam results ever...)

so, fingers crossed,

wish me luck^^

(ps: slap me if u see me slacking again^^'')

颓废~ runaway

2010-10-25T10:25:00.000-07:00

颓废的面具下, 只想runaway....

无名的怒火有说不出的无力想敲打我自己
os:太阳快要下山了什么都不做只拿着遥控器一直不停的换台
麻木的神经感觉自己像个机器快不能呼吸
os:快打开冰箱看看里面的东西唉~ 除了酱瓜什么也没有算了吧去外面吃吧

火辣的太阳永远在前方
无尽的公路无尽的追求

我想要 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
甩开一切无所谓 run away run away

像困在雾里焦躁的想从茫然的现实中逃离
os:唉~ 想的太简单了吧你觉得你想做的都可以做得到吗?
淡掉的感情还坚持下去又有什么意义
os:喂! 你拿着车钥匙要去哪里啊你别忘明天还要上班呢别在外面鬼混了
风吹乱头发黑暗星空下无尽的公路无尽的自由

我需要 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
甩开一切无所谓就快去 run away
我可以 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
是为自己不为谁不在乎的 run away

很多人再说不断的一直说必须这样子做不能够那样做
却又没有办法在自己的生命中突破 oh ya~
如果再不走就永远不会走别让自己再回头没挣扎怎能够有自由快走

现在就 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
甩开一切无所谓 run away run away
快点去 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
是为自己不为谁不在乎的 run away

现在要 run away run away
今天要 run away run away
现在要 run away run away
今天要 run away run away

changed~

2010-10-23T08:47:00.000-07:00

for all these while,

i super hate being isolated or left out,

whether purposely or not.

but now, i've realised that

no matter how hard i try,

no matter how good am i,

i will always be the outsider,

the extra one,

the outcast.

but somehow,

i don't feel like being bothered by these anymore,

life's too short for all these craps!!!

i don't care being an outcast.

i don't care being isolated.

i don't care being left out.

as long as i live my life

and be happy,

much much happier than u!!!!

who cares what u do??

cheers~ for all the outcast!!

cheers~ for life!!!^^

little whines and moans.

2010-10-12T09:42:00.000-07:00

just noticed that i was whining and moaning more than usual recently,

no big matters though...

after flickering for the whole night, my table lamp has officially RIP....

hopefully our beloved hard-working and efficient office will sent someone to fix it soon.

(ps: my myopia is kinda bad now, i really don't wanna become blind when i grad then.)

i guess i'm gonna be 'nomad-nerd' for the few coming weeks until it's fixed.

'sangat-sangat men-depressive-kan' aka. ssm is driving me crazy,

presentation, proposal and slides corrections, translation, citations, references, bla bla bla...

again and again.

seriously... i don't care.

the weather is freaking hot!!!!

so do my room,

is global warming getting more serious???

i'm putting weight REALLY fast recently,

can barely fit in my formal pants.

gosh~ i seriously need to cut down my junks intake...

other than those, i think i'm pretty happy with my life now.

psychiatry is kinda interesting for me, for now.

human mind is always a mystery.

i get to understand more about myself,

as well as peoples around me.

btw, i'm so addicted to glee recently *flight of ideas*

their songs are awesome!!!

can we have a glee club here too???

*thought block*

tu..........

sharing: 成熟~

2010-10-01T12:18:00.000-07:00

1、遇到不想回答的問題：直視對方的眼睛，微笑、沈默。

2 、走路抬頭挺胸，心情不好時，不想跟人招呼，點頭微笑，逕直走過。

3 、請記得：好朋友的定義是，你混的好，他打心眼裡為你開心，你混的不好，他由衷的為你著急。

4 、做自己的決定，然後準備好承擔後果。從一開始就提醒自己，世上沒有後悔藥吃，而我永遠有個 B計劃。

5、自己分內的事情，努力做到一百分。

6 、接受自己不過是個"小小的我" ，但眼裡要能夠悅納"大大的世界" 。

7、如果你真的喜歡一個人，就給他自由。如果他能回到你身邊，他就是你的，如果他沒有回來，那他也永遠不屬於你。

8 、不要試圖給自己找任何藉口，錯誤面前沒人愛聽那些藉口。

9 、不要隨意發脾氣，誰都不欠你的。

10 、不說謊話，因為總有被拆穿的一天。

11 、別低估任何人。

12 、你沒那麼多觀眾，別那麼累。

13、過去的事情可以不忘記，但一定要放下。

14 、別人說的記在腦袋裡，而自己的，則放在心裡。

15 、社會是有等級的，很多事不公平，別抱怨，因為沒有用。

16 、你永遠沒有你自己想像中那麼重要。

17 、錢能解決的問題統統不叫問題。

18 、無論何時說"我愛你"，請真心實意，無論何時說"對不起"，請看著對方的眼睛。

19、永遠不要以貌取人，慢慢地說，但要迅速地想。

20 找點時間，單獨呆會兒 .

21 不是自己的東西不要，就是再喜歡也不行，要懂得放棄。

22 不要覺得是生活虧欠了你，其實是我做的努力不夠。

23 努力向前，再努力向前，再努力一下下，願望就會實現！

24 永遠沒有堅持到底的失敗，也不會有半途而廢的成功。

25 三人行必有我師，沒有人會比你弱，好學、上進的心態。多問問自己："我努力了沒有？"。

from: http://donna123.pixnet.net/blog/post/18267232

夜鸣

2010-09-24T11:14:00.000-07:00

风欲吹

云欲散

空若存

花不再

断欲罪

殊别离

若有情

莫等白

~忆友~

2010-09-21T03:11:00.000-07:00

短短的两个礼拜里,

就收到两个突如其来的恶讯...

朋友母亲中风往生,

小学同学兼好友去世...

原本已被书本和考试麻木了的神经线,

又深深的受到了感触,

体验到人生所谓的无常，

生命的脆弱...

小学同学年纪与我一样,

从小写得一手好字体,

脾气很好, 人又善良,

所以整天被我欺负,

我小学地方研究作业簿里头,

不难找到她的字迹...

上了不同的中学以后,

功课忙碌,

加上我懒于主动交际的性格,

我们就渐渐的失去了联络...

一直到十年后,

大三那年的同学会,

才把我们联系回来,

她, 还是一样,

乐观, 热情,

时间就像回到十年前一样,

大家又嘻嘻哈哈的闹在一起...

那次的同学会后,

我们总说,

以后一定要多点出来聚聚，

保持着这份失而复得的友谊，

但万万想不到是,

那却是我见她的最后一次了....

有好几次在面子书上看见她的updates,

都有冲动想和她聊天，

但，我，还是被懒惰征服了...

直到今天，

晴天霹雳的受到了她去世的消息，

原来她患癌已有一段时间了。

人生真的好无常，

无常得叫人喘不过气来，

人生真的没有太多的如果和可能，

所以，还是俗话一句，

珍惜眼前人。。。

诗韵，安息吧。。

愿你现在已在天堂，

当个快乐的天使~

after 1 week of study week...

2010-09-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

死女人，你静静坐下来读书会死是吗？

#@!%&^%!!?@#$.....

frus-nya.....

pondering....

2010-08-25T08:48:00.000-07:00

2day,

i saw a young girl, with spastic CP and microcephaly, crying;

a small boy with dyskinetic CP, constantly having his choreoathetosis;

a teenage girl with severe kyphoscoliosis associated with neurological deficits...

attending rehab,

which means there is actually no immediate solution for their current conditions,

life is difficult,

yet they move on,

optimistically,

and i ponder...

why??

courage? love? hope?

and suddenly i recalled the quote i posted last night:

We need just three things in life: something to do, something to look forward to, and someone to love...

they have to work on their rehab now,

looking forward for better quality of life 2mr,

and they must have love their family so much....

which love them back with all the love in the world.

cheers for life~

as for me,

i really REALLY need to study hard now (ps: i don't wanna die~~)

looking forward to become a great doctor in the future *pray*

and i love my mommy~ *shy*

btw, i'm creating my own morning ritual now,

before i step out,

1.) xiu fu + make a wish,

2.) 3-mins-day-dreaming: imagine i become some1 who inspired me

(ps: not difficult to get one here, hospital is always full of fun and tears~~)

3.) GONNA LIVE 2DAY WITH NO REGRETS !!!

late night post

2010-08-24T09:54:00.000-07:00

yaya~ i know~

it's weekday and i shouldn't be blogging now,

my diabetic foot ulcer still stuck at definition...

(fyi: for the past 2 days od...)

anyway anyhow,

saw my msn status 2day: rehab day 69....

wow~ so fast...

almost 3 months plus od,

yet i'm still here wondering:

"is there any hope for me??"

i know i should really made up my mind now...

but before i can really give up and walk away,

can i at least know :

"WHAT HAVE I SCREWED UP???"

wish i have the courage to ask....

just some usual updates again^^

2010-08-21T11:24:00.000-07:00

speaking of picking up a new hobby,

finally i think i have something in mind now,

*grin* ngek3~~

which is....

MARTIAL ARTS!!!!

hiah!!!! hoooh~ haah!!!

my inspirations actually come from various sources:

a.) a song by jay chou =>>

"快使用双节棍~ HU-HU-HA-HI!!!!"

b.) master Ip-Man!!!

imagine if he's my sifu~ *drooling* haha~

i wanna go backpacking one day, to those weird weird places,

who knows where and when, and what's gonna happen,

since there is a high chance that i might end up going alone,

so, at least i can protect myself from ???? who know??

(ps: i'm a weirdo + freaks+ sei-hamsaplou-magnet,

i know, the proper way of saying it is: i have bad karma...

realised this after going through 2 years here....)

since taekwondo is the only self-defence class available in my hostel,

so, i think i'm gonna start taking the class next sem,

but seriously...

i'm not sure whether i can survive through it or not,

(ps: my pain threshold is....pretty low, i think...)

wish me luck~

ps: don't kill meeeee......