hello！it‘s me~~

久違啦！

在這個悠閒哉哉的星期天，才周周轉轉的點回來這裡，

這個被主人荒廢了四年的blog。。（老娘對不住你啊。。。哈哈哈）

聽著杰倫的晴天，突然好有feel，想寫下一些些東西。

最近和中國朋友混多了，又看了一堆中國電視劇，

還學人家用起了繁體字，哈哈哈

大家就原諒我的亂七八糟又不到家的中文吧。。

看回自己以往的posts，好懷念喔，

還蠻喜歡當年那個懵懵懂懂，努力生活，努力成長的自己，

有那麼一點點的狗血，一點點的囂張。。

回頭看那一路走來，雖然沒什麼很大的成就，但也很不容易，

青春啊，真是一段讓人熱血又迷惑的歲月！哈哈哈哈*瞎*

好，現在就update下自己，

現在的我，PGY4，正在麻醉科當newbie,（不是牛逼，是菜鳥，哈哈哈 ）

重來沒想過自己實習後還會再回去手術室，

（*以前實習時很討厭那個冰冷的世界*）

可是人生哪，總是那麼的讓人充滿驚喜，

所以現在的我得重零開始學習，

有那麼一點點的壓力，一點點的沮喪，

畢竟一把年紀了，還在當菜鳥，什麼都不懂，不是很讓人光彩啊

可是，萬幸的是，老闆和同事們都很好很好，

幫我度過了戰戰兢兢的第一個禮拜

感恩啊～

現在的我，還蠻享受現在的生活

有那麼一點點的挑戰，一點點的穩定

身邊有一個跟我一樣愛玩，愛吃，愛旅行的愛人，

一群可以一起 bitching, 一起 gossip，一起分享生活的姐妹

一雙健康又愛吵愛唸的老爸老媽

很滿足了。。。

雖然還得繼續當菜鳥三個月，我會努力的！rarrrrrrr!!! 💪

ok till then, take care and adios!!!

busy thoughts of a blind mouse

day 3 post-op,
continuing my routine: sleep, eat, eye-drops and lotsa pain-killers.
day 4 coming soon,
these are the few most empty days i ever have since working,
nobody will cruel enough to ask a poor half-blinded girl to do anything more than eating her own food.

nonetheless, an empty mind can be a busy mind
so do mine.

my juniors are having their pro-exam very soon,
all the best peps!
don't lose hope, don't give up,
you can make it,
no matter how little your preparation are,
how weak you are in that particular posting,
just do it,
don't think too much of what if.
remember how scared we are now,
remember how idiot or ridiculous our answers are,
remember how hard we pray and beg for a pass,
remember how we swear we will be if we got the title,
remember how humble we are at this moment,
and one day when you feel sucks totally about your work,
think about this moment again.
cheers~
can't wait to see u all in the hell call hospital=)

next,
i'm homesick, deeply.
i miss penang, food, peoples, my CM, who is going for election soon,
i miss mummy serving me nice plain porridge whenever i'm sick
i miss cuddling with my sis, gossiping about her friends and my mom
i miss home~

life is good here,
so far so good,
i have finished paeds,
currently, a newbie in o&g.
as usual, as drama as she can be.
exciting and full of adrenaline.
afterall, the pleasure is always the first loud cry u can hear from the LR
that's the relief
and the next mission is to counsel them for contraception, strictly, haha

i actually took a longer time to write this out,
mum said: don't use your eyes so much, just rest
ya, so i type this out with my eyes closed, not bad right?
not much typo pun.

MIA

aaaaa! i miss here, a little world of my own...

ya peps, gonna update myself a bit, after being MIA-ed for the past 3 months,

well baiscally, i've been struggling hard to survive and adapt in a total new,
and rather strange environment,

and hmm...what can i say...

yoohoo!!! i enjoyed it!! haha *syok-sendiri-ing*

from a total newbie driver,
i'm totally capable to drive like a manic and annoying CKL driver from penang,

(can't help, it's in my blood, ha!)

from a newbie houseman who screwed up everything and constantly freaks-out on every single little complaint during night-calls, i can manage to control my uncontrolled panicking and function like a sane human who works in the middle of the night with high dose of caffeine. (tho i still screwed up here and there constantly)

from a road-idiot who needs at least 3 secs to differentiate right from left and have no sense of directions at all, i can now scoot around the new town with my new toy, eating breakfast, groceries shopping, haircuts, meeting up friends for lunches, dinners and DESSERTS!! haha 

ya, i'm basically a functional working adult now.

tho i really miss the fun of being a student, but i kinda love my life now,

work hard, play harder,

cheers peps!! 

*let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words*

jia you everyone, amtb^^

临离别骚

剩下的时间已不多，
每天都不舍得睡觉，
三更半夜地在胡思乱想。
会舍不得吗，当然。
想飞，却有着不住的思念。

bla bla bla~

yoyo!! almost forgotten that i owned a blog,
rotting too much this holiday =)
btw, this is another must-blog-moment of mine,
you know, quarter-life!!!
narcissist like me will talk non-stop about myself again.
bla bla bla~
anyway, nothing gonna stop me,
haha~
so, this is basically how i spend my 25th birthday:

1. playing temple run by using my non-dominant hand.
    (ps: that was to train my right brain, according to sis)

2. cam-whoring with new camera apps, and uploaded them all=)

3. playing bubble-bubble aka. zuma by using middle finger,
    that's quite challenging, no offence, too fat=)

4. wat-ing friends and family to belanja makan~

4.writing chinese calligraphy, that is someone's holiday homework by the way.
    (ps: plan to cosplay as Lee-Bai initially, too bad, no misai)

5. driving aka. drifting, to and fro, penang international airport, improving the blood circulation of my uncle, aunty, sister and cousin. (ps: huh~ that's a big step =)

6. jiwang-ing happily with a kutu malam, in the middle of the night, about relationships and break-ups.

7. getting international calls from different countries, wishing me happy birthday.
    (thanks peps, you know who you are.)

8. replying birthday wishes and messages from family and friends, a big thanks to u all~
   (by the way, i got 2 surprise wishes, one from google homepage and another from my dean.)

that's all, have a nice day everyone!!^^

the moment

this is another must-blog-moment of mine again,
finally, it has come to an end of my student life, for now.
gan en, for Buddha blessings,
gan en, for all the prayers from my family and friends,
gan en, for all the good things and bad things that happened in my uni life,
i'm indeed glad that, it has come to an end.

peoples always say that,
time passes by, in just a blink of eye.

from the crazy stresses and tension in the study weeksSssSs,
from those devastating days of preparing for the so-called first-day-er clinical exam,
till that relief moment when the bell of the last short-case-station rang,
till that desperate moments of begging and praying for a pass,
till that moment, i heard my name being called by Prof Raymond,
i guess i will never forget how was it like.

i should be celebrating like crazy now,
yet, here i am, sitting in front of my beloved lappy,
typing this out, word by word.
i guess, i am not the same person any more.

one of my friend told me this: (he is one of the distinction)
'when we make it, there are peoples who are unfortunate...'
and one of them is my best friend throughout these 5 years in uni,
seriously i have no idea how to handle the emotion,
my initial thought is to get myself drunk up,
too bad, the plan failed.
i guess i should grow up and face it,
rather than running away from it.
life's never fair, deal with it.

anyway, back to myself,
like what my senior mentioned before,
'Notice the sparcity of your knowledge, the rigidity of your physicals, 
the stammer in your presentations, the nonsensical things that you never meant to say but blurt out anyway. Remember how hopeless you feel while waiting for results. Remember this, even 20 years later, for it will make you a humble doctor, and a motivated educator. Remember :) '

so i wrote this down, at this very moment, 

and hopefully one day when i feel that life's sucks and wanna give up, 

i will fortunate enough to read this again.

MD UKM, 2007-2012.

adios~*

at the edge

someone told me this before:
use this opportunity as a way back to His side,
and that's all i can do now,
pray...