hello！it‘s me~~

久違啦！

在這個悠閒哉哉的星期天，才周周轉轉的點回來這裡，

這個被主人荒廢了四年的blog。。（老娘對不住你啊。。。哈哈哈）

聽著杰倫的晴天，突然好有feel，想寫下一些些東西。

最近和中國朋友混多了，又看了一堆中國電視劇，

還學人家用起了繁體字，哈哈哈

大家就原諒我的亂七八糟又不到家的中文吧。。

看回自己以往的posts，好懷念喔，

還蠻喜歡當年那個懵懵懂懂，努力生活，努力成長的自己，

有那麼一點點的狗血，一點點的囂張。。

回頭看那一路走來，雖然沒什麼很大的成就，但也很不容易，

青春啊，真是一段讓人熱血又迷惑的歲月！哈哈哈哈*瞎*

好，現在就update下自己，

現在的我，PGY4，正在麻醉科當newbie,（不是牛逼，是菜鳥，哈哈哈 ）

重來沒想過自己實習後還會再回去手術室，

（*以前實習時很討厭那個冰冷的世界*）

可是人生哪，總是那麼的讓人充滿驚喜，

所以現在的我得重零開始學習，

有那麼一點點的壓力，一點點的沮喪，

畢竟一把年紀了，還在當菜鳥，什麼都不懂，不是很讓人光彩啊

可是，萬幸的是，老闆和同事們都很好很好，

幫我度過了戰戰兢兢的第一個禮拜

感恩啊～

現在的我，還蠻享受現在的生活

有那麼一點點的挑戰，一點點的穩定

身邊有一個跟我一樣愛玩，愛吃，愛旅行的愛人，

一群可以一起 bitching, 一起 gossip，一起分享生活的姐妹

一雙健康又愛吵愛唸的老爸老媽

很滿足了。。。

雖然還得繼續當菜鳥三個月，我會努力的！rarrrrrrr!!! 💪

ok till then, take care and adios!!!

busy thoughts of a blind mouse

day 3 post-op,
continuing my routine: sleep, eat, eye-drops and lotsa pain-killers.
day 4 coming soon,
these are the few most empty days i ever have since working,
nobody will cruel enough to ask a poor half-blinded girl to do anything more than eating her own food.

nonetheless, an empty mind can be a busy mind
so do mine.

my juniors are having their pro-exam very soon,
all the best peps!
don't lose hope, don't give up,
you can make it,
no matter how little your preparation are,
how weak you are in that particular posting,
just do it,
don't think too much of what if.
remember how scared we are now,
remember how idiot or ridiculous our answers are,
remember how hard we pray and beg for a pass,
remember how we swear we will be if we got the title,
remember how humble we are at this moment,
and one day when you feel sucks totally about your work,
think about this moment again.
cheers~
can't wait to see u all in the hell call hospital=)

next,
i'm homesick, deeply.
i miss penang, food, peoples, my CM, who is going for election soon,
i miss mummy serving me nice plain porridge whenever i'm sick
i miss cuddling with my sis, gossiping about her friends and my mom
i miss home~

life is good here,
so far so good,
i have finished paeds,
currently, a newbie in o&g.
as usual, as drama as she can be.
exciting and full of adrenaline.
afterall, the pleasure is always the first loud cry u can hear from the LR
that's the relief
and the next mission is to counsel them for contraception, strictly, haha

i actually took a longer time to write this out,
mum said: don't use your eyes so much, just rest
ya, so i type this out with my eyes closed, not bad right?
not much typo pun.

MIA

aaaaa! i miss here, a little world of my own...

ya peps, gonna update myself a bit, after being MIA-ed for the past 3 months,

well baiscally, i've been struggling hard to survive and adapt in a total new,
and rather strange environment,

and hmm...what can i say...

yoohoo!!! i enjoyed it!! haha *syok-sendiri-ing*

from a total newbie driver,
i'm totally capable to drive like a manic and annoying CKL driver from penang,

(can't help, it's in my blood, ha!)

from a newbie houseman who screwed up everything and constantly freaks-out on every single little complaint during night-calls, i can manage to control my uncontrolled panicking and function like a sane human who works in the middle of the night with high dose of caffeine. (tho i still screwed up here and there constantly)

from a road-idiot who needs at least 3 secs to differentiate right from left and have no sense of directions at all, i can now scoot around the new town with my new toy, eating breakfast, groceries shopping, haircuts, meeting up friends for lunches, dinners and DESSERTS!! haha 

ya, i'm basically a functional working adult now.

tho i really miss the fun of being a student, but i kinda love my life now,

work hard, play harder,

cheers peps!! 

*let your dreams be bigger than your fears and your actions louder than your words*

jia you everyone, amtb^^

临离别骚

剩下的时间已不多，
每天都不舍得睡觉，
三更半夜地在胡思乱想。
会舍不得吗，当然。
想飞，却有着不住的思念。

bla bla bla~

yoyo!! almost forgotten that i owned a blog,
rotting too much this holiday =)
btw, this is another must-blog-moment of mine,
you know, quarter-life!!!
narcissist like me will talk non-stop about myself again.
bla bla bla~
anyway, nothing gonna stop me,
haha~
so, this is basically how i spend my 25th birthday:

1. playing temple run by using my non-dominant hand.
    (ps: that was to train my right brain, according to sis)

2. cam-whoring with new camera apps, and uploaded them all=)

3. playing bubble-bubble aka. zuma by using middle finger,
    that's quite challenging, no offence, too fat=)

4. wat-ing friends and family to belanja makan~

4.writing chinese calligraphy, that is someone's holiday homework by the way.
    (ps: plan to cosplay as Lee-Bai initially, too bad, no misai)

5. driving aka. drifting, to and fro, penang international airport, improving the blood circulation of my uncle, aunty, sister and cousin. (ps: huh~ that's a big step =)

6. jiwang-ing happily with a kutu malam, in the middle of the night, about relationships and break-ups.

7. getting international calls from different countries, wishing me happy birthday.
    (thanks peps, you know who you are.)

8. replying birthday wishes and messages from family and friends, a big thanks to u all~
   (by the way, i got 2 surprise wishes, one from google homepage and another from my dean.)

that's all, have a nice day everyone!!^^

the moment

this is another must-blog-moment of mine again,
finally, it has come to an end of my student life, for now.
gan en, for Buddha blessings,
gan en, for all the prayers from my family and friends,
gan en, for all the good things and bad things that happened in my uni life,
i'm indeed glad that, it has come to an end.

peoples always say that,
time passes by, in just a blink of eye.

from the crazy stresses and tension in the study weeksSssSs,
from those devastating days of preparing for the so-called first-day-er clinical exam,
till that relief moment when the bell of the last short-case-station rang,
till that desperate moments of begging and praying for a pass,
till that moment, i heard my name being called by Prof Raymond,
i guess i will never forget how was it like.

i should be celebrating like crazy now,
yet, here i am, sitting in front of my beloved lappy,
typing this out, word by word.
i guess, i am not the same person any more.

one of my friend told me this: (he is one of the distinction)
'when we make it, there are peoples who are unfortunate...'
and one of them is my best friend throughout these 5 years in uni,
seriously i have no idea how to handle the emotion,
my initial thought is to get myself drunk up,
too bad, the plan failed.
i guess i should grow up and face it,
rather than running away from it.
life's never fair, deal with it.

anyway, back to myself,
like what my senior mentioned before,
'Notice the sparcity of your knowledge, the rigidity of your physicals, 
the stammer in your presentations, the nonsensical things that you never meant to say but blurt out anyway. Remember how hopeless you feel while waiting for results. Remember this, even 20 years later, for it will make you a humble doctor, and a motivated educator. Remember :) '

so i wrote this down, at this very moment, 

and hopefully one day when i feel that life's sucks and wanna give up, 

i will fortunate enough to read this again.

MD UKM, 2007-2012.

adios~*

at the edge

someone told me this before:
use this opportunity as a way back to His side,
and that's all i can do now,
pray...

幸运儿II

幸亏，那天被人偷了钱包后，很快的就被好心人捡到了，
还以为，又要重新办过好一大堆的证件了。

幸亏，那天在高速公路上爆胎，车没失控或给后面的车撞着了，
还以为，就要成为国家车祸统计里的一个数字了。

幸亏，那天下来帮忙我们修理车的印度先生，是真的雪中送炭，
还以为...没有还以为啦，我长得很安全~ 哈~

幸亏，那天没带手机被反锁在无人经过的男厕所里，撞一撞后，门就打开了。
还以为，年还没过，就要被活生生的饿死在男厕所里了~ 囚~

幸亏，那天不小心把新手机遗留在护士站里，没被人拿走。
不然，老妈真的会把我这只大头虾活生生煮来吃~

幸亏，那天一直以为不见了的学生证，竟然给自己找到了。
不然，又要山长水远的去总校重新办过。

幸亏，幸亏。
老天还蛮疼我这个笨又没笨完的白痴。
感恩~*

幸运儿

好久没上来涂鸦了，
期待已久的新年，也在一眨眼间，结束了。

今年的新年，过得很宅，但却很充实，
家，总是最好的避风港兼充电器~
累了，垮了，盲了，遗失了，
就回家吧。

(ps: eww~ 还真受不了自己七早八早在那里感性~*)

quarter-life crisis

i have been writing a lot lately,
having my so-called quarter-life crisis.

i have not been sleeping well,
having difficulty in initiating sleep, as well as early awakenings.
my postural hypotension is getting worse,
having more and more mini blackouts for the past 1 week.

i'm full of moodiness, emo-ness,
sense of insecurities and lost,
self-doubts and frustrations,
and the worst is,
i don't even have the slightest idea about what i really want.

sometimes,
i do wish that i can be strong and independent,
surviving in a total new environment without depending on the others.
i wish that i can grow up,
and stop being such a blur and hopeless person.
why can't i??

(ps: comparing to my previous post, i guess i fit bipolar perfectly.)

决定

每个人的一生中，总有个几个决定，会影响他的一生。
平日的日子，还可以懵懵懂懂的混过，
但，来到了这么一个交叉点的时候，
总得想想，什么才是最重要的。

总有太多的因素要思考，
太多的选择要取舍，
太多的放不下得放下。

人生，是个未知数，
谁也不能担保，今天做的决定，
一定是最对的，最好的。
但，只要尽力的做好自己，
我相信，上天冥冥中一定会有他的安排。

振作

女人，请振作!!!

你没时间伤心了。

(quarter-life crisis-ing~ T.T)
要越战越强~
越战越强~

2012, a new game begins.

happy 2012 everyone~!!^^

should be writing this post much earlier,

but having too much of 欢乐 for the past few days~

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~

2012, new year, new game.

needless to say, 

lame people like me will always write a long list of new year resolutions.

so, hang with me yea~ haha

1. Be the CHANGE you want to see in this world. Kindness spreads.

2. Friends accept you for who you are. 

    朋友是把看透你了，还是死赖着和你一起的人

    I'm looking for friends, and hoping to become one too. 

3. If you don't like about something, CHANGE it. 

    Don't afraid of changes, if you never try, you'll never know.

    and stop whining, like it's gonna change ANYTHING~ dah~~

4.  我要闪婚~!! *瞎*

5. Picture yourself TEN years later. 

    想象十年后的你，身在那里，在做些什么，成为什么样的人。

    

6. You only have ONE life, LIVE it, with no regrets. 

7. 继续欢乐~ 无所不乐~ 生命太严肃了，切莫当真。

    weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~~

8. Life's best when it's SIMPLE. 

    Stop complicate things by over-analysing every word and action. 

9. give HUGsSsSss~ appropriately. haha

10. Sing~!! lotsa lotsa K~!!!

11. 缘聚缘散。

     缘聚时，把握珍惜；缘散时，感恩放下，

     再继续往前走，明天一定会更好。

12. 把自己看得太重，只会越沉越重~

13. Have courage, to have adventures in life. 

14. In 20 years, you will be more regret on things that you never do,
      rather than things that you actually did. 

15. “如果明天的太陽依然升起，我們開始第二個人生吧” ~阿信

16. Life's a cumulations of mistakes and decisions. so?

      make the BEST out of it. 


17. *pray hard~* i'm gonna be strong enough to win the final battle!!　
　　每个人推到上帝面前的筹码都不一样，那就是努力。

18. LOVE your parents, just like how they love you, UNCONDITIONALLY~ 

Coolio~

HAPPY 2012~!!!

Have lotsa fun~!!!

i'm not going to write a review on 2011 this year,
not in the mood plus most were being written down in the previous posts,
adios 2011~!!^^

Second Round，第二人生

“如果明天的太陽依然升起，我們開始第二個人生吧..” ~阿信

五月天 - 第二人生

你听到闹钟声 你推开了抱枕
你醒在无尽的疲倦的人生
英雄没有出现 奇迹没有发生
你只有苦涩的 即溶咖啡粉

你天天看新闻 在等什么发生
让人生 再重头 再起死回生
地心没有沸腾 陨石没有倾盆
只有你 和日子 长满了灰尘

期待一趟旅程 精彩万分 你却还在等
等到荒废青春 用尽体温 才开始悔恨

期待一种永恒 却怕伤痕 怕碎骨粉身
最后还是一个人 没有神 你孤独的生存

你才刚出了门 你就开始在等
你等着 快回家 回你的围城
命运如果有门 名字就叫心门
并不是 能不能 而是肯不肯

生命不是过程 而是美丽旅程
风景有 亮和暗 也有爱和恨
第一站叫天真 第二站叫青春
下一站 的名字 等你去确认

期待一趟旅程 精彩万分 你却还在等
等到荒废青春 用尽体温 才开始悔恨
期待一种永恒 即使伤痕 也奋不顾身
也许会有一个人 陪着你 向新人生启程
每个灵魂 每个人 每次 劫后余生
每个心跳 每滴泪 在等 绝处逢生
不要等到来生 让此时此刻 能不虚此生

如果命运注定你的诞生 
如果末日始终没有发生
期待一趟旅程 精彩万分 你不该在等
等到荒废青春 用尽体温 才开始悔恨
期待一种永恒 即使伤痕 也奋不顾身
生命还没有黄昏 下一站 你的第二人生
你的第二人生

Christmas's eve~

just had a simple dinner for Christmas's eve,
home-made steamboat,
tang-yuan,
with a couple of beers.

gossips, laughters and stupid games,
simple, peaceful and warm
with best friends around,
just like what i always wanted.
and the best that i can get.

yet another year goes by, in a blink of eye.
let by gone, be by gone.
i wonder where will we be,
who will we be with,
and what will we be doing,
next year, at this time of the year.
but i guess that's the best part of life,
that you will never know what's coming and what's not,
so just cherish the moments you have now,
in the best way that you can.

Merry Christmas everyone~

圣诞节前前夕

今天是星期五晚上，

圣诞节前前夕，

一般来说，

我应该会在某处狂欢。

刚喝完冬至汤圆，

岁月很豪迈的不留人，

迈入了优雅兼可怕的二十六。

我没带上手套，拿着刷子，

很卖力的在刷马桶，洗厕所。

很不错，

没有想象中的可悲。

背后，还有很激昂的古典乐。

看着黄黄的厕所墙，

被喷出来的水花，

冲得亮闪晶晶，

一整个星期的忧郁，

也被刷得不见光光。

好，一个奇怪的新爱好，

就从圣诞节的开始。

人们，圣诞节快乐~!!

missing~*

yay~ 我又回来了！
三个礼拜了，
没有网路的日子，我过得还挺成功的嘛~*哈*
不过，还是有点不习惯没有血拼的日子，
要是真的错过今年的year end sale，
我一定不能原谅自己的~*瞎*

不过还蛮喜欢那个有山有水，
还有浓浓的人情味的地方。
虽然并没有拍下很多照片做纪念，
但，我想我一定不会忘记那里的天气，
蓝天，白云，艳阳高照，
乌云，密布，倾盆大雨。
河流，白鹤，小镇，美食，
肉骨茶，海鲜，魔鬼鱼，unagi,
吃再多‘肉’也不会造孽的斋馆，
奇怪得来又好好吃的猪肠粉，
狂笑变态无厘头又难吃的mamak，
百吃不厌只为了上网的麦当劳，
无人能敌的疯狂唱K纪录, *fyi: 5 times in 2 weeks, spontaneously everytime~
尴尬又好笑的金马伦之旅，
有鱼但都钓不到的钓鱼记，
热到发狂飚汗的医院，
冷到发麻冷颤的图书馆，
循循善诱的老师，
神神化化的医生，
搞笑又好玩的同伴，
可爱配合度又高的病人，
全部全部，一切一切，
都为我那原始又平凡的日子涂上五彩缤纷的精彩。

     my new pets~*

a serene evening

surfing the net lazily,
with my chilling frost root beer,
in a cool and serene evening.

enjoying a simple and happy life,
in a small peaceful town,
hoping life can be that easy,
all the time.

人来人往

很难想象，大学一朦就快五年。

回头看，

电脑里的像簿，聊天记录，

手机里的短讯，

看着看着，就笑了，

笑着笑着，就哭了，

朋友知己，一个个，

从陌生走进我的人生，

再从我的人生，走回人群陌生。

a list

我爱：
1。跑步
2。旅行
3。阅读
4。音乐
5。吉他
6。部落格
7。摄影
8。游泳
9。电影
10。跳舞
11。胡闹