~season greetings~

just realised how diverse my family is when it comes to religions and beliefs.

we have the 'bai-ang-kong' ones,

the buddhist, (ranging from the extreme devotee to the 'half-boiled' type like me)

we have christians and catholics,

as well as muslims...

and last but not least, the 'sesat' ones like my sis...

muahaha~

we can choose to divide or separate ourselves by the colours of our skin or the faith that we believe,

yet, we choose to embrace our differences and celebrate the diversity~~

cheers to everyone in this joyful season~

happy belated tongzhi!!!

merry christmas!!!

and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!^^

(ps: btw, should i get an indian hubby or an orang-asli instead?? haha~)

有病而发

在医院呆久了，

每天都看惯了一大堆很canggih又要生要死的病后，

就一概把感冒发烧咳嗽喉咙痛都当成小病一个，

没什么大不了，

也没什么好担心的。

所以每当有人问起时，

我总会很敷衍兼没舍同情心的说：

“噢~ 感冒发烧啊？

多喝水，多休息就可以了，

没什么的啦~

细菌感染而已啦~”

现在，轮到自己‘发烧喉咙痛而已啦~’

却觉得非常的痛苦。。

头很痛，喉咙很干，

烧一直退不完，

抗生素从五天拖到一个礼拜后还吃不完。。

回想起。。

生病，其实无分大小，

即使是很轻微的头痛或发烧，

都会对病人带来莫大的困扰，

没办法专心，没办法工作，

不能唱歌，又不能熬夜，

也不可以淋雨，

没办法吃那些煎煎炸炸得来又很好吃的食物，

(ps: 这只是喉咙痛发烧而已哦，想想那些糖尿病，高血压等等。。）

那种无奈，

是身体健康时的我们体验不到的。。。

懒惰病

差不多有一个月多没跑步了，

每天下午都在下雨，

下了雨，

病人就窝在暖暖的被里睡猪觉，

睡醒了就吃，

吃饱了又睡，

高烧退了又来，来了又退，

一整个礼拜都病殃殃的，

每天只想睡大觉。。

不行！！

明天开始，要从新振作，

好好的照顾自己！

振作振作！！

ps: 病人现在正在很幸福的吃着金马伦的 strawberries 和 cherry tomatoes~

yay~

sharing: 好好生活，品味人生，享受幸福

關於人生：
人生如夢，歲月無情。驀然回首，才發現人活著是一種心情。窮也好，富也好，得也好，失也好。一切都是過眼雲煙。想想，不管昨天、今天、明天，能豁然開朗就是美好的一天。不管親情、友情、愛情，能永遠珍惜就是好心情。記得有一個經典短信這樣寫著：曾經擁有的不要忘記；已經得到的更加珍惜；屬於自己的不要放棄；已經失去的留作回憶；想要得到的一定要努力；累了把心靠岸；選擇了就不要後悔；苦了才懂得滿足；痛了才享受生活；傷了才明白堅強；總有起風的清晨；總有絢爛的黃昏；總有流星的夜晚。人生就像一張有去無回的單程車票，沒有彩排，每一場都是現場直播。把握好每次演出便是對人生最好的珍惜。把握現在，暢享人生！

關於友情：
有一天，友情和愛情碰見。愛情問友情：世上有我了，為什麼還要有你的存在？友情笑著說：愛情會讓人們流淚，而友情的存在就是幫人們擦乾眼淚！朋友就是：偶爾會為你擔心、向你關心、替你懆心、想你開心、逗你開心、請你放心。朋友之間，懂得關懷才是難得……傷心時不妨和我說；痛苦時別忘了跟我講；有病時別忘了通知我；困難時記得要請教我；失望時要想起還有我；開心時更不要忘記我。朋友的定義，就在於此……我們是朋友，這就夠了……

關於微笑：
被人誤解的時候能微微的一笑，這是一種素養；受委屈的時候能坦然的一笑，這是一種大度；吃虧的時候能開心的一笑，這是一種豁達；處窘境的時候能自嘲的一笑，這是一種智慧；無奈的時候能達觀的一笑，這是一種境界；危難的時候能泰然一笑，這是一種大氣；被輕蔑的時候能平靜的一笑，這是一種自信；失戀的時候能輕輕的一笑，這是一種灑脫。不管是有什麼事情，為了什麼原因……我們每天都要開心一笑…………

關於生活：
日出東海落西山，愁也一天，喜也一天；遇事不鑽牛角尖，人也舒坦，心也舒坦；每天領取謀生錢，多也喜歡，少也喜歡；少葷多素日三餐，粗也香甜，細也香甜；新舊衣服不挑撿，好也禦寒，賴也禦寒；常與知己聊聊天，古也談談，今也談談；全家老少互慰勉，貧也相安，富也相安。
關於幸福：
相傳幸福是個美麗的玻璃球，跌碎散落在世間的每個角落。有的人撿到多些，有的人撿到少些。卻沒有人能擁有全部。愛你所愛選你所選，珍惜現在所擁有的一切。人活著就是一種心情，把握今天，設置明天，儲存永遠。只要用心感受，幸福就會永遠存在。
from:http://www.taiwan.look.tw/M_Act_Share_Cont.aspx?asid=00004172

end posting again.

1st + 2nd week:

bph research discussion report

preparation for ssm presentation in the department

applying and planning for trauma conference

slowing gaining courage and confidence to speak with psychiatry patients

3rd week:

preparation for london trip

looking for potential cwu

career session + report

4th week:

trauma conference

5th week:

community project~ (yay~ they're really cute~)

muar~ makan sambil belajar

cwu cwu cwu~ (draft)

6th week:

visit visit visit~

hbuk and hkl

run run run~

7th week:

cwu cwu cwu AGAIN~ (final edition~ phew~)

long case~ T.T

go home~ home sweet home~

FAMILY REUNION!!!!

8th week:

study sambil lepak~

MALACCA~~

this is basically how i go through my psy posting.

i had a really super busy posting,

doing lotsa other stuffs instead of psy...

by the end of this posting,

my conclusion is:

i have a super nice and awesome supervisor,

who made me understood about the real basics of psy,

nice group-mates,

which we have lotsa fun together,

but my brain still empty empty...T.T

DSM criteria are like stilnox to me,

which i can fall asleep within 5mins reading it,

can anyone please tell me any good solutions for it??

anyway, i felt strongly about this idea again,

medicine is always an art of apprenticeship,

great teachers inspire their students.

and this is how my supervisor guided me through this posting.

though i'm still not good in the knowledge of psychiatry,

at least i truly knew what psychiatry illnesses are,

and understand their patients.

understanding leads to acceptance.

i think this is my biggest lesson learnt afterall.

=凡人杂想=

依稀记得, 你曾对我说过:

我们的爱, 不要有执著...

当爱有了执著,

就只剩下痛苦.

我怎么忘了呢?

nice sharing: 一生只有兩天

一生只有兩天：「第一天」和「最後一天」。

就先從賈伯斯追女朋友講起囉！賈伯斯是誰？他是蘋果公司的創辦人，是世界第一部個人電腦的發明人之一，也就是出產iPhone公司的老闆。話說1985年，賈伯斯被自己創立的蘋果公司掃地出門！可以想像當時的打擊有多大，但是賈伯斯只鬱卒了一下子，很快他就振作起來了。有一天他在一所大學演講，「她」坐在聽眾席聆聽，賈伯斯被剎到了。

活動一結束，賈伯斯就去跟「她」聊天，拿到了電話號碼。原本想開口約「她」當天晚上一起吃晚餐，可是又正好有個會議要開，只好把快要說出口的話，吞了回去。

當賈伯斯準備去開車離開時，他問了自己一個「老問題」，這是他每天早上面對鏡子問自己的一個問題-「如果今天是我這輩子的最後一天，我今天要做些什麼？」......答案出來了，賈伯斯馬上跑回去演講廳找「她」，約去共進晚餐。這位「她」-LaurenePowell寶兒-現在就是賈伯斯的老婆。

引述賈伯斯的一段話：「提醒自己快死了，是我在人生中面臨重大決定時，所用過最重要的方法。因為幾乎每件事－所有外界期望、所有的名聲、所有對困窘或失敗的恐懼－在面對死亡時，都消失了，只有最真實重要的東西才會留下。」

賈伯斯又補充說：「提醒自己快死了，是我所知避免掉入畏懼失去的陷阱裡最好的方法。人生不帶來、死不帶去，沒理由不能順心而為。」我們也靜下心來，問自己「最後一天」這個問題- 「如果今天是我這輩子的最後一天，我今天要做些什麼？」

「第一天」又是什麼呢？-當「第一天」入大學讀書，我們對學校、課本、同學充滿好奇心-當「第一天」進公司上班，我們謙虛，願意學習，有衝勁-當「第一天」約會，我們小鹿亂撞，珍惜相處的每一刻-當「第一天」晉升職等，新官上任三把火，有滿腹雄心壯志，要有所作為回想我們做任何事的「第一天」，都是我們最有活力的一天。時光不能倒流，但態度可以回轉。

click here for his wonderful speech

random wed

it's a beautiful wed,

cause it's a public holiday~

yay~

lame...

it's quite a gloomy day actually,

crisp cool,

and drizzling occasionally.

clicking aimlessly on fb,

i saw this album,

it's really nice,

so, i shared it here with everyone,

hope it'll cheer up everyone's gloomy day moody emo...

~人生的選擇 人生有三態～【悲觀、樂觀與達觀。】

悲觀的人說：人生像一杯苦酒，清濁均苦澀。
樂觀的人說：人生像一杯美酒，點滴皆芬芳。
達觀的人說：人生像一杯清泉，冷暖都清涼。

悲觀的人見到人生的生老病死；
樂觀的人見到人生的甘甜喜樂；
達觀的人見到人生的春夏秋冬。

悲觀的人埋怨風向
樂觀的人等待風向；
達觀的人調整風帆。

悲觀的人用加法生活，平添勞苦；
樂觀的人用減法生活，減少憂傷；
達觀的人用除法生活，分享喜樂。

與大家共勉之~(歡迎"分享"，感恩合十)

adapted from 靜思語~

just another week.

it seems like becoming a routine of mine,

for updating my blog at least once a week.

that's good right??

keeping everything on track.

nah~ i'm not that rajin la~

just waiting for my pics to be uploaded in fb~

haha~ gotcha~

=.=lll....

okay, back to this week.

routine med student aka. nerd life,

done cwu => a big yay!!!

visit to hosp. besar UK => not that UK again lar~ it's Ulu Kinta aka. so-called tanjung rambutan.

visit to hkl methadone clinic => place where druggies get sthg else instead of the REAL stuff.

basically, having fun here n there,

hot juicy gossips,

sleep,

gossips AGAN,

and sleep AGAIN...

weekends were much more fulfilling then,
for sat,

i attended a cardio-teach-in-session by college of physicians,

with bunch of ji-muis~

it was kinda interesting, but i dozed off occasionally.

(wonder when baru can i get rid of this habit??....zZzZzZzz...)

2 outcomes from it:

1.) freezing cold air-con => frozen brain => dozed off

2.) i really need to read my ECG made easy!!! becoz it's NOT EASY at all!!!

for sunday,

~ let's get physical~ physical~

haha~

went to bangi for a charity run.

by amsa health fiesta.

it's a good experience actually,

coz i NEVER really complete a run PROPERLY before,

(ps: one of my precious embarrass moment, came back by bus~ don't laugh!! blek!)

and i found an useful tips,

SET A TARGET!!!

GET A COMPETITOR!!!

and GO FOR IT!!!!

NAIL IT!!!

big group photo!!! bunch of mandarin oranges.

the uncle on the truck: ape budak semua ini buat...?!

completed run!! yay!!!

okay, that's all for it.

stop crapping.

tutttttttttttttttt.....

of traveling and food!!

lots of stuff going on between this and my previous post,

i went to london for Trauma Conference in Imperial College last week,

i went to muar yesterday,

i neglect my psy for the past 2 weeks, (haha, kill me~)

i got my exam result slip,

and now....

finally, i can settle down...

speaking of Trauma Conference,

it's really an awesome experiences,

we applied for it 1 month before the conference,

and our application got approved 1 week before the conference,

all the prep work was done within 1 week,

everything was so packed,

i was busy like hell for that week,

however, it really paid off ....

the best part of the conference was those practical workshops,

where we get to learn stuffs like insertion of chest tube, intubation, cricothyroidectomy, etc...

my 1st cricothyroidectomy

and i'm the slowest...^^"

unlike eamsc and amsc,

this conference was completely academic-based.

(actually they have social events as well, but we ponteng it~ haha~)

sight-seeing was fun,

london is indeed a very beautiful city,

with lots of amazing artistic buildings, statues, parks...

the sceneries were simply breath-taking...

green green grass and witted maple leaves = awesome!!!^^

the red telephone booth!!!

posing like victoria??!! lolz~~

st. james park~ lovely autumn~

museums are awesome too,

too bad i don't have the privilege to spent more time on them...

(ps: i saw real mummies~ and dinosaurs too!!! dead of course~^^")

though accidents happened here and there,

but overall it was an awesome trip.

hope i can tour the whole europe next time,

weeeeee~~

1 day after i came back,

with my biological clock still jet-lag-ing,

spontaneously, i went to muar....

with a bunch of S.A.D. penang siao-kia-s,

(*S.A.D. = single, available, desperate /

sexually, aggressive, desperate, coz single is not applicable on one of us)

my nanny~ we stayed at his place~ 1 of the tourist spot too^^

after ruining his place, he brought out the parang~~ haha

the whole trip was full of craziness, fao-kua-ness, sarcasms, juicy gossips and lotsa lotsa fun!!!!

pi-gui-pi-guai on the road^^

at gunung ledang, we polluted their waterfalls with chemicals, hairs and nasal discharge~

we ate and ate and ate...non-stop.

yay~ my favourite food!! we finished 40 in 10mins^^

laugh and laugh and laugh....non-stop as well.

well, the best part of the trip was all of us are very close friends,

sporting, crazy and spontaneous...

so i guess u can imagine how was the trip throughout....

ai-yan beside the road

fao-kua in the 'palace'~

ai-yan AGAIN~ by a gigantic durian~

(ps: even dwee wee got infected too!!!)

i enjoyed the trip very much,

despite it was just a 2-day trip,

hope all of us can embark on another cuti2 m'sia trip again...

so, that's all for now i think..

gonna work hard for the next few coming weeks,

(ps: got my worse exam results ever...)

so, fingers crossed,

wish me luck^^

(ps: slap me if u see me slacking again^^'')

颓废~ runaway

颓废的面具下, 只想runaway....

无名的怒火 有说不出的无力 想敲打我自己
os:太阳快要下山了 什么都不做 只拿着遥控器 一直不停的换台
麻木的神经 感觉自己像个机器 快不能呼吸
os:快打开冰箱看看里面的东西 唉~ 除了酱瓜什么也没有 算了吧 去外面吃吧

火辣的太阳 永远在前方
无尽的公路 无尽的追求

我想要 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
甩开一切无所谓 run away run away

像困在雾里 焦躁的想从茫然的现实中逃离
os:唉~ 想的太简单了吧 你觉得你想做的都可以做得到吗?
淡掉的感情 还坚持下去又有什么意义
os:喂! 你拿着车钥匙要去哪里啊 你别忘明天还要上班呢 别在外面鬼混了
风吹乱头发 黑暗星空下 无尽的公路 无尽的自由

我需要 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
甩开一切无所谓 就快去 run away
我可以 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
是为自己不为谁 不在乎的 run away

很多人再说 不断的一直说 必须这样子做 不能够那样做
却又没有办法在自己的生命中突破 oh ya~
如果再不走 就永远不会走 别让自己再回头 没挣扎怎能够有自由 快走

现在就 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
甩开一切无所谓 run away run away
快点去 run away run away 不想再怀疑自己对不对
是为自己不为谁 不在乎的 run away

现在要 run away run away
今天要 run away run away
现在要 run away run away
今天要 run away run away

changed~

for all these while,

i super hate being isolated or left out,

whether purposely or not.

but now, i've realised that

no matter how hard i try,

no matter how good am i,

i will always be the outsider,

the extra one,

the outcast.

but somehow,

i don't feel like being bothered by these anymore,

life's too short for all these craps!!!

i don't care being an outcast.

i don't care being isolated.

i don't care being left out.

as long as i live my life

and be happy,

much much happier than u!!!!

who cares what u do??

cheers~ for all the outcast!!

cheers~ for life!!!^^

little whines and moans.

just noticed that i was whining and moaning more than usual recently,

no big matters though...

after flickering for the whole night, my table lamp has officially RIP....

hopefully our beloved hard-working and efficient office will sent someone to fix it soon.

(ps: my myopia is kinda bad now, i really don't wanna become blind when i grad then.)

i guess i'm gonna be 'nomad-nerd' for the few coming weeks until it's fixed.

'sangat-sangat men-depressive-kan' aka. ssm is driving me crazy,

presentation, proposal and slides corrections, translation, citations, references, bla bla bla...

again and again.

seriously... i don't care.

the weather is freaking hot!!!!

so do my room,

is global warming getting more serious???

i'm putting weight REALLY fast recently,

can barely fit in my formal pants.

gosh~ i seriously need to cut down my junks intake...

other than those, i think i'm pretty happy with my life now.

psychiatry is kinda interesting for me, for now.

human mind is always a mystery.

i get to understand more about myself,

as well as peoples around me.

btw, i'm so addicted to glee recently *flight of ideas*

their songs are awesome!!!

can we have a glee club here too???

*thought block*

tu..........

sharing: 成熟~

1、 遇到不想回答的問題 ：直視對方的眼睛 ，微笑、 沈默 。

2 、走路抬頭挺胸，心情不好時，不想跟人招呼，點頭微笑，逕直走過 。

3 、請記得 ：好朋友的定義是，你混的好，他打心眼裡為你開心，你混的不好，他由衷的為你著急 。

4 、做自己的決定 ，然後準備好承擔後果 。從一開始就提醒自己 ，世上沒有後悔藥吃， 而我永遠有個 B計劃。

5、 自己分內的事情 ，努力做到一百分 。

6 、接受自己不過是個"小小的我" ，但眼裡要能夠悅納"大大的世界" 。

7、 如果你真的喜歡一個人，就給他自由。如果他能回到你身邊，他就是你的，如果他沒有回來，那他也永遠不屬於你。

8 、不要試圖給自己找任何藉口，錯誤面前沒人愛聽那些藉口。

9 、不要隨意發脾氣，誰都不欠你的 。

10 、不說謊話 ，因為總有被拆穿的一天。

11 、別低估任何人。

12 、你沒那麼多觀眾 ，別那麼累 。

13、 過去的事情可以不忘記 ，但一定要放下。

14 、別人說的記在腦袋裡，而自己的， 則放在心裡。

15 、社會是有等級的， 很多事不公平， 別抱怨 ，因為沒有用 。

16 、你永遠沒有你自己想像中那麼重要 。

17 、錢能解決的問題統統不叫問題。

18 、無論何時說"我愛你"，請真心實意， 無論何時說"對不起"， 請看著對方的眼睛。

19、 永遠不要以貌取人，慢慢地說，但要迅速地想。

20 找點時間，單獨呆會兒 .

21 不是自己的東西不要 ，就是再喜歡也不行 ，要懂得放棄 。

22 不要覺得是生活虧欠了你 ，其實是我做的努力不夠 。

23 努力向前，再努力向前，再努力一下下，願望就會實現 ！

24 永遠沒有堅持到底的失敗，也不會有半途而廢的成功。

25 三人行必有我師，沒有人會比你弱，好學、上進的心態。多問問自己："我努力了沒有？"。

from: http://donna123.pixnet.net/blog/post/18267232

夜鸣

风欲吹

云欲散

空若存

花不再

断欲罪

殊别离

若有情

莫等白

~忆友~

短短的两个礼拜里,

就收到两个突如其来的恶讯...

朋友母亲中风往生,

小学同学兼好友去世...

原本已被书本和考试麻木了的神经线,

又深深的受到了感触,

体验到人生所谓的无常，

生命的脆弱...

小学同学年纪与我一样,

从小写得一手好字体,

脾气很好, 人又善良,

所以整天被我欺负,

我小学地方研究作业簿里头,

不难找到她的字迹...

上了不同的中学以后,

功课忙碌,

加上我懒于主动交际的性格,

我们就渐渐的失去了联络...

一直到十年后,

大三那年的同学会,

才把我们联系回来,

她, 还是一样,

乐观, 热情,

时间就像回到十年前一样,

大家又嘻嘻哈哈的闹在一起...

那次的同学会后,

我们总说,

以后一定要多点出来聚聚，

保持着这份失而复得的友谊，

但万万想不到是,

那却是我见她的最后一次了....

有好几次在面子书上看见她的updates,

都有冲动想和她聊天，

但，我，还是被懒惰征服了...

直到今天，

晴天霹雳的受到了她去世的消息，

原来她患癌已有一段时间了。

人生真的好无常，

无常得叫人喘不过气来，

人生真的没有太多的如果和可能，

所以，还是俗话一句，

珍惜眼前人。。。

诗韵，安息吧。。

愿你现在已在天堂，

当个快乐的天使~

after 1 week of study week...

死女人，你静静坐下来读书会死是吗？

#@!%&^%!!?@#$.....

frus-nya.....

pondering....

2day,

i saw a young girl, with spastic CP and microcephaly, crying;

a small boy with dyskinetic CP, constantly having his choreoathetosis;

a teenage girl with severe kyphoscoliosis associated with neurological deficits...

attending rehab,

which means there is actually no immediate solution for their current conditions,

life is difficult,

yet they move on,

optimistically,

and i ponder...

why??

courage? love? hope?

and suddenly i recalled the quote i posted last night:

We need just three things in life: something to do, something to look forward to, and someone to love...

they have to work on their rehab now,

looking forward for better quality of life 2mr,

and they must have love their family so much....

which love them back with all the love in the world.

cheers for life~

as for me,

i really REALLY need to study hard now (ps: i don't wanna die~~)

looking forward to become a great doctor in the future *pray*

and i love my mommy~ *shy*

btw, i'm creating my own morning ritual now,

before i step out,

1.) xiu fu + make a wish,

2.) 3-mins-day-dreaming: imagine i become some1 who inspired me

(ps: not difficult to get one here, hospital is always full of fun and tears~~)

3.) GONNA LIVE 2DAY WITH NO REGRETS !!!